Prose Poem № 109703
Mr. Stryker, Do You Really Want Some Kind of War?
The slightly older than middle aged man wears his sunglasses at the bus stop and squints towards the sun waiting for his number to come up.
The ground vibrates, he looks up, squints to make sure he has the right number, you wouldnât want to get on the wrong bus, and he steps on.
Why doesnât the bus have seat belts he wonders, as it rumbles and bumps over pot holes and dips on the boulevard.
He puts his face to the plexiglas and looks for his stop, stop 47, the vibration of the bus always helps him darken reality and slide off to somewhere else, to a time where there was only two bus lines and the drivers were always the same, he tries to fight his instincts by counting the various stops, 40, 42, but he loses somewhere around stop 44.
The slightly older than middle aged man wakes up at stop 58, his swollen eyes widen and he yells at the bus driver, âI told you I was stop 47.â Through the rear view mirror the slightly older than middle aged man sees the bus driver rolling her eyes at him and shrugging her shoulders.
âPeople just donât give a damn anymore,â he says just loud enough for her to hear.
âMaybe you should get a car old man,â jokingly says a passenger across from him, a boy with brown eyes and a shaved head.
He scowls and steps off the bus; he removes his sunglasses, and crosses the street, to catch the bus.
Back to the stop that he missed.
20 comments
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i
You can afford to trim this, I think
"there were only two bus. . . "
Your mind is also probably wondering how an animal manages to capture the conflicts of humans and their battles with their past, their present, and their future.
But it doesnât stop there you say out loud, "who is this cat?" Is it a cat, a co-worker, your best friend, the person you saw at the bus stop, the entity that created the universe.
You can say it sucks if that makes you feel better, but I know that an ellipsis stands for the emotions that canât be said, because you are so choked up and lost for words, thatâs why you write, thatâs why I write, because there is just so much that I canât⦠so thank you, thank you for your well thought out comments, I appreciate them.
1) "My string of arbitrarily-linebroken abstract-to-the-max gobbles has caused you to question X or ponder X, whether or not that was my original intention, though now and forever hereafter I will say it was. I am a raging success at everything."
ADDENDUM TO 1) "I'm always pleasantly surprised at the variety of interpretations I get for the abovementioned, a.l.a.t.t.m.g.s, all of which are true (even though I hadn't thought of them) except the negative ones. I'm a fucking artistic genius."
3) "I meant for this poem to be bad. I'm a jester."
4) "I wrote this in only 15.5 seconds. Fuck you."
5) "I've read your poems and they all suck. Therefore, I'm immune to your criticism."
ADDENDUM TO 5) "I don't think we're at the same place, poetically speaking. This is because I'm better than you."
6) "You give no specifics."
7) [Some disingenuously positive response to the one positive comment on your poem, despite that the comment poster is a known dim.]
8) [Nothing.]
thanks for your whole thing there, but it doesn't apply to me, because what i wrote wasn't an excuse, i am more than open to constructive critism, what i wrote was a joke (my response not my poem) due to the tone of Mac... i read several of his comments on various poet's poems and i think he's funny, i wrote something clever in hopes that he would comeback...but i still totally appreciate your list thing, but i truly do think this is a good poem in need of some tweeking, i posted it for advice, if i thought it was ok i wouldn't post it, if any of us thought what we were doing was ok, we wouldn't post. this site is about validation, so even you my horoscope thingy are here because of insecurity...i'm thinking you are a number four.
meow and a lick to you,
cat
P.S. "INVETERATE" is the mark of a top-notch dullard.
Look I understand what you are saying, but you slighted me (and quite a few others) on other pages, so guess what I know that your girlfriend has low self-esteem and allows you to take out your underemployed, loser, angry status out on her and writes it off as "you are creative," but you slight me I slight you, don't get your panties in a bunch...I guess I'm dim, but I don't get why a person who is as smart and as clever as you would respond to anyone who says something thats even remotely insultive, I thought that was something only dim people did.
Look you have some issues, all you do is go to people's page and talk crap and bring in your twisted perspective that's getting very tired, "your dim, your dim, your dim" what are you FIVE? I guess because that guy hurt your feelings on your page and now you want to get the universe back, but get over it, it's done.
You need some kind of release, go look at some porn.
And why don't you write a poem, you haven't posted anything in ages what are you sad or are you just a coward that uses one name to insult and one name to write?
You are dim. Continue with your music and stop this silly bs.
A meow and two licks to you,
cat
zodiac
Look overly sensitive freak that continues to respond to me, because he's a freakin idiot. If you think insulting people on the internet is fun, your life must not be going all that well for you, you know why? Because people who have nice jobs and healthy relationships don't respond to 3077 posts, do you know why, because they have a life, which you obviously do not, I mean you are bordering on freak, to brag about responding to 3077 poems.
The funny thing is I think that was the one thing you said which you were serious about, because it had a bit of a superiority, self-righteous air to the whole sentence.
âAs of today I have read and voted on 3077 posts on this site, so I guess I'm adequately qualified to say what kind of repetitive self-obsessed muck is perpetrated every day here, while you're not.â ---everyone this person is a loser.
You know I may be self righteous, I might be dim, I may be gay, but yet you continue to come back in a pathetic attempt to one up my insults to you which means that you my really cool pseudonymed friend are simply one step above me, a lowly cat, which doesn't say much does it?
three licks and a coughed up ball of hair to you,
cat
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