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My Swarthy Bane (Free verse) by MacFrantic
Death knelt before the windowsill in silence A heavy rain beating fairly upon its head The utterance of a selfless prayer For Death lives in immortalized devotion And as I lie in trepidation Sickness eroding my memory Death enters uninvited But it is no longer unwelcome This fleeting glance at life Offers no time for reparation And as I look into Death's face I finally see it as my own


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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.9403987
Overall Rank: 9113
Posted: August 13, 2004 12:15 AM PDT; Last modified: August 15, 2004 8:13 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 | 15-Aug-04/3:55 PM | Reply
The last 2 verses could stand better alone. Try leaving out "it is"
[n/a] MacFrantic @ 198.81.26.16 | 15-Aug-04/8:12 PM | Reply
thanks, this much I-------------------------------I
[9] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.218.59.183 | 17-Aug-04/8:15 AM | Reply
Death looks like my ex-mother-in-law to me. But each of us has our own boogie(sic) man we see, now that Rick James is dead.
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