| Re: Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta |
29-Dec-05/2:28 PM |
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I agree. Rhyme or don't rhyme, not both. It's fixable. Just read it over and over aloud and work out the bugs.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Jan-06/7:08 AM |
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Youe may have some. jsp-id?=16876
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Jan-06/7:10 AM |
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2 things. I think we need a designation for "beat poem" and I was really looking forward to a rhyme with pathological. If you slipped it in there, kudos.
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| Re: Sunlighting by ALChemy |
4-Jan-06/8:11 PM |
Fuck witty. Though it's all I have at the moment. I'll take quality (like yours) over witty any day of the week.
I think l-3 could lose the (the) and be A-OK. fackit. 10
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| Re: The Forgetting by Dovina |
5-Jan-06/7:20 AM |
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Congrats on Divorcing Tennessee! Sorry I still don't know what to think of this one.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Jan-06/7:05 PM |
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Signed. Sealed. Delivered.
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| Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT |
8-Jan-06/8:58 AM |
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The -for now- and the -meanwhile- had to go.
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| Re: Pledge by http://mulberryfairy |
8-Jan-06/9:03 AM |
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| Re: greymo(u)rn by lmp |
8-Jan-06/12:39 PM |
"the whole effect was a draining of color from the landscape" You've already shown us this, why tell?
And then "safe and vulnerable" is all you need there as well.
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| Re: Blackout, Amman, November, 2005 by zodiac |
8-Jan-06/3:34 PM |
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Too many options to list. See dealer for details.
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| Re: What Matters by Dovina |
9-Jan-06/8:49 AM |
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This reads like a sentence in a novel to me. I hate to hardcore you like that but, it's flat.
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| Re: Reckoning by <~> |
9-Jan-06/9:39 AM |
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Serious juju. Sorry, I'm still from the Rothian camp. Do you just like to play with little balls? I'll stop now. Gotta visit the loo. I'll check back with scrawl a little later. Brain is cooking today. Hope I can post my newest "over there". Thanks fo' da hep!
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| Re: Reckoning by <~> |
10-Jan-06/7:52 AM |
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'Mornin. be over in a minute and I'm bringing something for one of the short story forums.
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| Re: I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
10-Jan-06/8:02 AM |
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Poems like this make me so proud to be male. not
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| Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT |
10-Jan-06/11:39 AM |
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Any last crits? It's gong in the mail today. Thanks guys!
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| Re: Racism 4 by Dovina |
17-Jan-06/5:47 PM |
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I think I will drop my next poem which also deals or doesn't deal with racism here before I drop it "over there".
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| Re: In praise of racism by INTRANSIT |
24-Jan-06/1:01 PM |
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Well, there went a perfectly good 6.0
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| Re: A Sheepâs Wish by Dovina |
24-Jan-06/1:18 PM |
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e-c has most of it nailed but, "choose me a mate"? Drop the -me- and i shant be bugged a-more.
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| Re: When God is Needed No More by ALChemy |
24-Jan-06/1:21 PM |
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maybe someday I'll get to a poem first and actully have something to say.
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| Re: The Glass by dancin_n_da_moonlite |
24-Jan-06/4:21 PM |
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Blow this up. by that I mean add to it. talk more about the rim or the fit or scratches. this could be a meat and potatoes meal. add everything you can think of. then post again and I'll do what I can to help.
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