Re: To The Modern Black Standard by ALChemy	7-Nov-05/3:13 PM
wow. I'm waaaaaay off. I thought it was a litany against blacks! HA! I gotta get out more.
Re: Bluegrass Blueshield by T. Jonathron Remp	7-Nov-05/3:20 PM
What's the Johnson-wax effect, then?
Re: Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina	7-Nov-05/3:21 PM
Where's my kick on credit?
Re: Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina	9-Nov-05/2:41 PM
I like it , except that, alert and plum seems redundant within the line.
Re: The Hawk by Dovina	12-Nov-05/3:56 PM
Lose the howling , keep the howl. Describe the "rank" scent. "like pebbles, city deep" <~> always jumps my -but- so I'm gonna jump yours. Lose it!
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Nov-05/4:02 PM
cutting.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Nov-05/4:08 PM
stop. and begin again. no but thre's plenty to use here. First things first. Be more sure of what you are saying. no maybes.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Nov-05/4:55 PM
The -dying dryly in my mouth- makes me think of eating leaves. Something I have not done since I was a youth. And I did not like it then.
Re: Irish Holliday by Dovina	6-Dec-05/7:04 AM
Consider yourself luckey. Santa might have sent you the Snuggle bear. Or a Lobster.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Dec-05/7:08 AM
As long as you keep writing, (unlike me) you can do no wrong.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Dec-05/3:28 PM
Delete or alter (shorten) the closer.
Re: why? by nentwined	26-Dec-05/7:46 PM
just when you thaink that this is it, a train throws itself under your feet.
Re: Train of Thought by Sisterwolf	26-Dec-05/8:03 PM
Hmm. Periods, maybe. But without them it reads more like a child. Since it was a childs memory, this is ok by me. Periods would make it seem written more maturely, maybe too intently. Sorry I can't reach both ends of my shoelace this eve.
Re: For Love of Baseball by Dovina	28-Dec-05/7:46 AM
'mernin. I was too tired too read this last night. This morning is much better. I'm having trouble with the homerun. These days, homers happen all the time. Unless you're making a sexual refrence.
Re: Ennui by Sisterwolf	28-Dec-05/7:51 AM
And, on we go. Nice clean-up. I personally would not mind if you stayed.
Re: a cordial greeting by calliope	28-Dec-05/8:01 AM
the poison/blowgun/darts part needs redone. I think finding another image would be better. The last line jingles, perhaps another path to try.
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	29-Dec-05/6:26 AM
Good good good good good. Anvil eyed. Daimler. Could you make it longer? Seems shor for memoirs. 9.5
Re: Bleeding by Hadasl	29-Dec-05/6:33 AM
Stanza one is good. Stanza 2 does not carry the maturity of the first. Stanza 3, line 4 needs work. End period please.
Re: My Christmas Gift by celticskatermatt1	29-Dec-05/6:35 AM
I'll echo the six. Read this aloud to yourself and you'll be able to fix it easily.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Dec-05/2:22 PM
Incorrect. the warnings say nothing about falling off or causing laughter. up your alley!