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The Hawk (Free verse) by Dovina Where once the wolf was howling,
sounds the howl of tires.
Where once wild mustard,
rank scent embitters air.
Where once red-tail hawks
soared watching for grassâs shiver,
they watch atop poles
for weaving pickups
aimed for jacks and snakes.
Then howl of tires sank
like pebbles in city deep
As tire owners scrubbed the air
And mountains rose again
as if howled for by the wolf.
But abused beyond saving,
a red-tail hawk confronts a gull
for a french-fry at the city dump.
Up the ladder:
Persnickety
Down the ladder:
STAN
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: March 3, 2005 8:07 AM PST; Last modified: November 11, 2005 4:18 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0596013 Overall Rank: 6765 Comments:
The present-past-present changes are a little off-putting.
Cool! Back to the future. Now if only I can go back in time in my Ford Pinto and get Zodiac and Dovina to kiss then the new messiah can be born to rid the world of republicans.
Careful. I'm a married man.
Don't they allow bigamy over there?
Besides,it's a small price to pay to rid the world of republicans.
If he's any kind of Messiah worth believing in, she'll conceive a virgin.
That would be a first.
Lose the howling , keep the howl.
Describe the "rank" scent. "like pebbles, city deep" <~> always jumps my -but- so I'm gonna jump yours. Lose it!
"<~> always jumps my -but- so I'm gonna jump yours."
This is how sexual abuse is passed down.
Like racism I suppose.
Only when it includes subtle anal sex references.
Iâve been trying to stop howling for years, but it keeps welling up uncontrollably.
I see how "like pebbles, city deep" improves rhythm, and in this case I may follow you there, though it goes against gut desire for meaning. And my But in the ass end of this, yes that too should go, I think.
Man's greatest folly is that he's forgot how to think beyond language.
It might be the wine talking but.... no. This is ace.
What would you think if you could think beyond language? My guess: "Uuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggghghhhh!"
That is the most profound thing you've said ever.
Great imagery in the 3rd stanza, otherwise, I found it difficult to follow, breaking from rhyme quite often without needing to.
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Needs a line or two to bridge the gap between time settings.
Some good images in here though.
You know you could make alot of money replying for famous peoples fan mail. Although I imagine you'd leave many a fan scratching their head. 7 years of college and finally somewhere to use it.