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Ennui (Free verse) by Sisterwolf Prisms flash off icy sputum hawked by
an angry sky, every spicule as sharp
as a butcherâs blade.
Glowering clouds bunch their eyebrows
as tongues of fog lick at windows.
Tiny people below are hunched against
the fingers of chill sliding inside
their collars, nipping with delight as they
slip from fog to building to sidewalk.
Their movements, jerky as old movie film.
Lethargic light cannot penetrate the gloom.
It is a day for a good book and a long nap.
A day for inertia of body and soul alike.
Suck sweet chocolate between the teeth,
wrap up in cozy blankets, burrow down,
emerge only when the mood is gone.
Up the ladder:
Students
Down the ladder:
Where did the word "ORIGIN" come from?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8333335
Posted: December 28, 2005 6:22 AM PST; Last modified: December 28, 2005 6:22 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.493059 Overall Rank: 2770 Comments:
[9]
INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.69
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28-Dec-05/7:51 AM
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Reply
And, on we go. Nice clean-up. I personally would not mind if you stayed.
I wish that you would not delete the comments when you make a revision. We can see which ones came after the revision by looking at the time stamps. You will find, if you stay here long, that poeple who delete comments get few.
Thank you for the periods and the clarifications. It's better now.
Slow down Dovina. The original is still posted with all comments intact. Get some coffee.
Right you are. I've never seen anyone do that before - revise a poem, retain the title, leave the old one there. It's like a tax loophole, perfectly legal, but of questionable ethics. This sister wolf is alright. Anyway, she knows what I think of deleting comments.
Sisterwolf has had major brain damage from DV - she couldn't figure out how to delete properly, or she would have deleted
the first version.
Well sister, your intentions are good and I'll help you. If you want to revise a poem, you can hit the "Edit" button. Make any changes you want to, ahd hit "Accept." When you posted another poem, similar to the first and having the same title, now that's original. You're doing fine, gal, hang in.
Thank you! My cognitive abilities range depending on stress
and other health issues. But I am trying to be a big girl and use suggestions, not go postal. This info made everything clear for me. . .
Since your pointing out my error, I deleted the first version.
I know that somehow that will be wrong too and bring wrath. I am sliding off into the sunset, as I can't get the hang of things.
I just checked. It's still there. Please do not delete it. Just change one of the titles. Thanks.
Excellent poem :-) and I'd do just that, if only there were no lectures to attend...
P.S. I feel this version is much better than the previous one, which I found somewhat muddled.
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