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Blackout, Amman, November, 2005 (Free verse) by zodiac
Opened the window just wide enough to see Lwebideh, Old Quarter, dark, crazily headlit, then here and there the human luminence of old kerosene lamps lighted, candles, even the Rainbow Street 'villas', the British Council; the city, a softened, closer self, I imagined bringing out those surplus Aladdins, from when was only Jabal Amman, the Citadel, hunched against night-raiders, saved for the known failure of that fad, electricity. But, opening the window, I gave the house over to a shrill, tireless pickpocket mosquito: blood-dry, the runt last of its season, surely. I'd been reading Jadara Rises Again by flashlight, the bit where Christ does in the swine, rendered in our tongue 'Gadarene' (the swine and citizens, I mean, not the demon or demons' name or names; those, Legion. The Many.) In the play the man, oddly self-possessed, speaks his own name, modestly I think clutching a tail of beard around his bare testicles - though I can't tell if that's dramatic necessity or knowing here a close cousinship of man and devil, not with this wingsound, this high whee in the dark (the worst thing, worse than tinder-piles of bites, the nagging groove of itch, like a lip catching your fingers.) Sometimes, behind the stove, he's like a violin badly tuning somewhere in a highrise, the pure C-sharp of exhaustion; sometimes so close I clap my ears, stumble the house slashing the walls with my torch's small bore to pin him down. Thinking, here, bug, coequaled here, friend, is a prime example: one of us Legion, one Fire-Eyed Prophet; one to hurtle seaward, one to lay his hands soul-weary then upon the waiting cross; one whistling in the dark, one yet as lost.

Up the ladder: the coming of Fall
Down the ladder: End of day poem

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Arithmetic Mean: 9.833333
Weighted score: 6.2998834
Overall Rank: 880
Posted: November 18, 2005 9:30 AM PST; Last modified: November 18, 2005 9:34 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 18-Nov-05/10:08 AM | Reply
First: Does that ability to echoe word sounds, not rhyme but echoe certain qualities in words together come naturally or is it more of a hair pulling event.
Because this one comes out so damn natural.

Second: Love how you snuck "bore" in.

Third: I bet you're leaning towards the bug being Jesus. I was.

Forth: There's a current political spin to this one, intended or not.

I could spend all day peeling back layers of this poem.
A sign of a great artwork. You really shouldn't give some of these away for free.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.19.155 > ALChemy | 18-Nov-05/9:36 PM | Reply
First, I read these out loud about a million times. It's the only way.

Second, I stole it from something I've read recently and forgotten. I have a list of "Words to Use in Poems" on my refrigerator I add to whenever I find a good one.

Third, at least, I'd rather be the sea-hurtler than the resigned crucifixion.

Fourth, of course. I don't actually live in Amman. I am having a lot of blackouts recently, though. Something about how it hasn't rained for the last 8 months, water's fouling the transformers.

I'm always surprised and flattered by your readings. I mean, surprised because there're things I'd given up on anyone seeing. Thanks. I mean that.
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > zodiac | 19-Nov-05/6:34 AM | Reply
A few images I got while reading this poem you might get a kick out of:
While on a second reading with a political approach. When you got to the "Whee" part I couldn't help but picture GWB's face superimposed onto Ned Beatty's in that infamous scene in Deliverence.

I got this image of you writing this with the word "Locusts" flying around your head and trying to land on your poem and ruin it. You're feverishly writing while swatting at it and saying "Get the fuck out of here! Go fly up Linda Blairs ass." I kept thinking while I was reading this "Please don't say locusts. This is the best thing I've read in a while and If you say locusts I'm going to kill you.
[n/a] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 > ALChemy | 19-Nov-05/11:49 AM | Reply
I was able to avoid the locusts. I wasn't able to avoid the mosquito, who was, and still is, real-life.
[9] Dovina @ 69.225.179.162 | 18-Nov-05/5:18 PM | Reply
I like the cousinship of man and devil, the take on the swine and Legion, mosquitoe/bug, Legion/prophet, and the waiting cross. The () seem distracting and could be done without I think.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.19.155 > Dovina | 18-Nov-05/9:37 PM | Reply
I agree, but other punctuation is even more distracting given nentwined's fixed-width font fetish.
[n/a] Dental Panic @ 84.27.6.94 | 24-Nov-05/6:13 PM | Reply
great poem.
[10] cyan9 @ 217.40.63.105 | 22-Dec-05/4:09 AM | Reply
My cup of tea
[10] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.67 | 8-Jan-06/3:34 PM | Reply
Too many options to list. See dealer for details.
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 | 6-Apr-06/5:55 PM | Reply
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. -from Richard Hall's Sniglets: Words that don't appear in the dictionary, but should.
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