| Re: skittles by Freethinker1602 |
15-Oct-09/11:22 AM |
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Reword this in a way that eliminates the duplicities. Like -bright colors-- you have more than once. Trust your reader. We've seen skittles. And enjoy them often!
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| Re: a comment on To Poets Whose Writing is Fecal. by SupremeDreamer |
5-Jan-09/8:25 AM |
To those that would teach poetry.
mofo
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| Re: To Poets Whose Writing is Fecal. by SupremeDreamer |
2-Jan-09/7:33 PM |
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| Re: 2012 - The Haiku Remix. by DreamerSupreme |
28-Dec-08/4:48 PM |
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wouldn't have to wait if someone would just push the damn thing.
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| Re: Horus, Thy Eye. by SupremeDreamer |
28-Dec-08/4:47 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Gadgets and Poems by Dovina |
10-Sep-08/10:29 AM |
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I saw a gal in a bookstore once (imagine that!). I think she would write out her piece in long lines, then accordian the paper left to right and then fold/strike/fold/strike words almost at random. I'm assuming alot here, but still. This is to say I agree with your suggestion.
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| Re: SWF seeks SWM by Bethy |
10-Sep-08/10:24 AM |
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-more nuts, this is wrong. hahahahahaha.
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| Re: :: chameleon by elementalidad |
10-Sep-08/10:22 AM |
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I disagree with Dovina on this one. I think it's the best of the four.
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| Re: a comment on :: snowsounds by elementalidad |
10-Sep-08/10:20 AM |
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I'm gonna back Dovina. Loosen the reins a little element-
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| Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer |
10-Sep-08/10:08 AM |
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I'd like to see the first line gone. The title covers it. But the Main part, I'd like to see really odd things there, not the drugs and the sex etc. Not that true grunge doesn't have a place, I'm just not one for "shock" value. Write another one my way please, and I'll compare, and, maybe concede. Whaddaya got ta lose?
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| Re: a comment on 5 minute poem: section by Bill Z Bub |
10-Sep-08/10:03 AM |
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I read it again and see what you mean. But, I think there is enough expressiveness in the two previous lines. Though, I know repetetiveness is a tool I have not yet learned. Gonna post up ?
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| Re: a comment on 5 minute poem: section by Bill Z Bub |
22-Aug-08/9:30 AM |
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I agree. Though - theives is what they are- seems weightless to me.
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| Re: Gadgets and Poems by Dovina |
17-Aug-08/4:16 PM |
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D, I think the whole first sentence should go. I'd like to see the carpets rise be your opener. But that's me. hope you and Kansas are doing fine.
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| Re: a comment on Warlord by INTRANSIT |
16-Aug-08/12:41 PM |
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Mnyeah. hit a slow spot myself. grindin' my way out. is there any other?
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| Re: ayow by skaskowski |
15-Aug-08/4:59 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Warlord by INTRANSIT |
15-Aug-08/11:31 AM |
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Oh. 'Allo D. whatchadoin?
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| Re: Cormac Plays by Skamper |
8-Jan-08/2:06 PM |
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Zero Mostell. Hah! Great stuff.
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| Re: a comment on Running Local by INTRANSIT |
31-Dec-07/6:48 AM |
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Neither. Pretty straightforward actually. Don't be lazy, D.
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| Re: Absorb by Skamper |
29-Dec-07/6:08 AM |
Strange to see you use -'cos. I don't know why.
Good thing you didn't use crumpet. Those things, sheesh. I like the paralells but, I think if you sit on it for a while, there's more to be brought out.9 for what it is now.
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| Re: Shiver by Skamper |
23-Dec-07/11:12 AM |
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Oh gross! Swap existances competing, drop the hyphen, swap fingers driven. I think you could lose lines 13 and 14 and do no harm. Gross. I love it.
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