Comments byINTRANSIT, the 20 most recent. Include replies

on ayow by skaskowski 15 Aug 2008, 4:59 PM
ska.
on SWF seeks SWM by Bethy 10 Sep 2008, 10:24 AM
-more nuts, this is wrong. hahahahahaha.
I'd like to see the first line gone. The title covers it. But the Main part, I'd like to see really odd things there, not the drugs and the sex etc. Not that true grunge doesn't have a place, I'm just not one for "shock" value. Write another one my way please, and I'll compare, and, maybe concede. Whaddaya got ta lose?
on :: chameleon by elementalidad 10 Sep 2008, 10:22 AM
I disagree with Dovina on this one. I think it's the best of the four.
on Gadgets and Poems by Dovina 17 Aug 2008, 4:16 PM
D, I think the whole first sentence should go. I'd like to see the carpets rise be your opener. But that's me. hope you and Kansas are doing fine.
on Cormac Plays by Skamper 8 Jan 2008, 2:06 PM
Zero Mostell. Hah! Great stuff.
on Absorb by Skamper 29 Dec 2007, 6:08 AM
Strange to see you use -'cos. I don't know why.
Good thing you didn't use crumpet. Those things, sheesh. I like the paralells but, I think if you sit on it for a while, there's more to be brought out.9 for what it is now.
on Shiver by Skamper 23 Dec 2007, 11:12 AM
Oh gross! Swap existances competing, drop the hyphen, swap fingers driven. I think you could lose lines 13 and 14 and do no harm. Gross. I love it.
on Addendum to Engine Braking BY INTRANSIT by sliver 23 Dec 2007, 10:45 AM
Been busy lately, couldn't get round to the ranker.

Obviously not the way I was going, (though I did miss my mark ) there's potential here.

Drop- Then the, as the, hot brakes, until, a sign, fuck it.

condense the jake line and the following line. Make jake a capital OR a corporation.
on Sight Reading by Christof 23 Dec 2007, 10:53 AM
If I could find fault with this, I'd be a professor.

That's a compliment, Sir.
on Happy Birthday by jessicazee 23 Dec 2007, 11:00 AM
I don't know what you're doing. I just know it's working.
on Milk and gas by Caducus 23 Dec 2007, 11:03 AM
I wouldn't have gotten that but that's my ignorance about Plath.
on some deleted poem 23 Dec 2007, 11:04 AM
It's offical. I hate you. Congrats.
on Before Dawn by Christof 27 Nov 2007, 9:33 AM
Klaxon. Great word. Could you say- boy or girl in roiling- ? Or is this a specific person. You?
on Missing - You by Skamper 26 Nov 2007, 6:17 PM
Line 9. sectet? dic.com couldn't find it.
on some deleted poem 26 Dec 2008, 7:55 PM
Dan ! You goofball.

S-1 lose the hardware. keep the prize, the psyche, the phil.
S-2 merge those last two lines

drop the h/h

"hate for the sake of gods..." aint it the truth.

for all intents and p/r purposes......
on Horus, Thy Eye. by SupremeDreamer 28 Dec 2008, 4:47 PM
Amen. and then some.
on 2012 - The Haiku Remix. by DreamerSupreme 28 Dec 2008, 4:48 PM
wouldn't have to wait if someone would just push the damn thing.
http://poemranker.com.poem-details.jsp?id=80113

trying to get moving again, Soup ? I hear ya.
on skittles by Freethinker1602 15 Oct 2009, 11:22 AM
Reword this in a way that eliminates the duplicities. Like -bright colors-- you have more than once. Trust your reader. We've seen skittles. And enjoy them often!