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Happy Birthday (Free verse) by jessicazee I want to cut your hair
every day, not because
I want to change you, although
a few feathers -
a wisp of Irish Pub Gray,
a carved bit of groom
might sidle up nicely
to my winter-chafed face.
I give you my lips, chapped;
a dry radiated goodnight
on your numberless birthday eve.
A razor for a gift.
Up the ladder:
Stringed
Down the ladder:
Poem for Mahmuth
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.333333
Posted: December 20, 2007 11:23 PM PST; Last modified: December 20, 2007 11:23 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.516546 Overall Rank: 2644 Comments:
[9]
Dovina @ 208.127.120.77
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21-Dec-07/11:13 AM
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Reply
The Christmas timing makes me wonder and chuckle. But I think it's tender and not Christmasey, but affectionate and giving. At least that's my take on it.
Aside from the punctuation not scanning well at the start (it's the hyphen that threw me) this is excellent.
I don't know what you're doing. I just know it's working.
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