DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

5 minute poem: section

Member since 2002 · Posted 21 Aug 2008 · 6 comments

pain trumpeting from boney sides god-damn socialists thieves thieves is what they are like the doctors that cleave they took a section and never gave it back but he still has the strength to organize and reorganize mow the lawn etc thinner yes, but tough as telephone poles like the ones he used to climb as he naps in his chair, I notice the crease between his eyebrows is still there

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 6.50 weighted 5.40 rank 3164 views 306 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

6 comments

[9] SupremeDreamer 21-Aug-08/9:07 PM Reply

It is good to see you posting again, its good to see some new work from the old guard.

Blessed with nine.

[8] INTRANSIT › SupremeDreamer 22-Aug-08/9:30 AM Reply

I agree. Though - theives is what they are- seems weightless to me.

[9] SupremeDreamer › INTRANSIT 5-Sep-08/6:10 PM Reply

The emotional context associated with the line is not weightless to me. Expression sometimes can not live up to anothers' perspective.

Been awhile hasn't it old friend?

[8] INTRANSIT › SupremeDreamer 10-Sep-08/10:03 AM Reply

I read it again and see what you mean. But, I think there is enough expressiveness in the two previous lines. Though, I know repetetiveness is a tool I have not yet learned. Gonna post up ?

[8] Bethy 2-Sep-08/9:16 AM Reply

very good

[6] half.italian 7-Sep-08/12:44 AM Reply

I like the second verse alot, but the first is worthless. Make a connection.