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5 minute poem: section (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub
pain trumpeting from boney sides god-damn socialists thieves thieves is what they are like the doctors that cleave they took a section and never gave it back but he still has the strength to organize and reorganize mow the lawn etc thinner yes, but tough as telephone poles like the ones he used to climb as he naps in his chair, I notice the crease between his eyebrows is still there

Up the ladder: I AM...
Down the ladder: the gold rush

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.4034123
Overall Rank: 3081
Posted: August 21, 2008 7:50 PM PDT; Last modified: August 21, 2008 7:50 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] SupremeDreamer @ 99.170.144.252 | 21-Aug-08/9:07 PM | Reply
It is good to see you posting again, its good to see some new work from the old guard.

Blessed with nine.
[8] INTRANSIT @ 69.23.141.215 > SupremeDreamer | 22-Aug-08/9:30 AM | Reply
I agree. Though - theives is what they are- seems weightless to me.
[9] SupremeDreamer @ 64.9.233.156 > INTRANSIT | 5-Sep-08/6:10 PM | Reply
The emotional context associated with the line is not weightless to me. Expression sometimes can not live up to anothers' perspective.

Been awhile hasn't it old friend?
[8] INTRANSIT @ 69.23.141.215 > SupremeDreamer | 10-Sep-08/10:03 AM | Reply
I read it again and see what you mean. But, I think there is enough expressiveness in the two previous lines. Though, I know repetetiveness is a tool I have not yet learned. Gonna post up ?
[8] Bethy @ 165.154.46.180 | 2-Sep-08/9:16 AM | Reply
very good
[6] half.italian @ 98.151.18.37 | 7-Sep-08/12:44 AM | Reply
I like the second verse alot, but the first is worthless. Make a connection.
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