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The Observer (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
I can influence the future I am not alone I am connected to it all So you are too It is my belief that our purpose here, is to learn how to be responsible creators I have the freedom to be woven into any possibility Consciousness is the ground of all being through observation I simply am in heaven I can go from any form to any emotion because they are the same Atoms, ideas, strings There is no reward The mind is a storm The cruelest tyrannical trick we have played upon ourselves is religion, war, disease, and ignorance How far down the rabbit hole do I want to go? It doesn't matter, as long as I go And I want you, to come with me.

Up the ladder: An Even Better God

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.4034123
Overall Rank: 3095
Posted: May 3, 2005 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 12, 2005 11:51 AM PDT
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Comments:
[5] unknown^user @ 128.196.6.126 | 12-May-05/8:51 AM | Reply
*belief instead of believe
Comes off as somewhat pretentious, and loses its focus somewhat in the third part (after "because they are the same").
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.62.63 > unknown^user | 12-May-05/11:54 AM | Reply
thanks.
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 12-May-05/12:10 PM | Reply
It tackles too many topics in the second half to be strong in any of them. Would do better to stick with the "I can influence the future" theme.
[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson @ 24.250.22.18 | 12-May-05/8:11 PM | Reply
Love "How far down the rabbit hole do I want to go?" that is a great line.
[7] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.72 | 16-May-05/9:22 AM | Reply
You owe me two bucks for using my Rabbit hole. I'll take a discount on your book.
[8] SupremeDreamer @ 216.99.240.141 | 16-May-05/11:32 AM | Reply
Alice, there are many who await you in earnest in the depths of this chaotic rabbit hole. You need not a partner, all is good and safe... if thou art a madman ofcourse.
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