Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Observer (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
I can influence the future I am not alone I am connected to it all So you are too It is my belief that our purpose here, is to learn how to be responsible creators I have the freedom to be woven into any possibility Consciousness is the ground of all being through observation I simply am in heaven I can go from any form to any emotion because they are the same Atoms, ideas, strings There is no reward The mind is a storm The cruelest tyrannical trick we have played upon ourselves is religion, war, disease, and ignorance How far down the rabbit hole do I want to go? It doesn't matter, as long as I go And I want you, to come with me.

Up the ladder: Captian, Doctor..Father
Down the ladder: Plastic Explosive Iraqi-Man

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
10  .. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 30
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.4034123
Overall Rank: 3136
Posted: May 3, 2005 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 12, 2005 11:51 AM PDT
View voting details
[5] unknown^user @ | 12-May-05/8:51 AM | Reply
*belief instead of believe
Comes off as somewhat pretentious, and loses its focus somewhat in the third part (after "because they are the same").
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ > unknown^user | 12-May-05/11:54 AM | Reply
[7] Dovina @ | 12-May-05/12:10 PM | Reply
It tackles too many topics in the second half to be strong in any of them. Would do better to stick with the "I can influence the future" theme.
[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson @ | 12-May-05/8:11 PM | Reply
Love "How far down the rabbit hole do I want to go?" that is a great line.
[7] INTRANSIT @ | 16-May-05/9:22 AM | Reply
You owe me two bucks for using my Rabbit hole. I'll take a discount on your book.
[8] SupremeDreamer @ | 16-May-05/11:32 AM | Reply
Alice, there are many who await you in earnest in the depths of this chaotic rabbit hole. You need not a partner, all is good and safe... if thou art a madman ofcourse.
255 view(s)

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2023 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001