I'll Make It Through

Member since 2004 · Posted 16 Jul 2004 · Edited 16 Jul 2004 · 14 comments

I'll hide behind some baggy clothes And a mask you cannot see Waiting for the day to come When you will rescue me Until that day here I stand Accepting life this way/Absorbing what you say Clinging to the hope that you Will be with me one day/Will come for me some day And right now that's all I need To struggle through this misery And right now you're all I need I'll make it through this agony All it takes is just one word What once was bad now seems absurd 'N' after all this time you'll see You're the one who carried me And right now you're all I need I'll make it through this agony...

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mean 6.50 weighted 5.40 rank 3170 views 224 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

14 comments

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 16-Jul-04/6:47 PM Reply

I know this isn't very good, it needs quite a bit of work. I'd appreciate any positive suggestions. :)

[2] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? › cuddlytiger17 16-Jul-04/7:43 PM Reply

Interesting. It has a similar theme to my new poem, "An Old Man's Folly."

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 16-Jul-04/7:51 PM Reply

sure...? lol

[2] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? › cuddlytiger17 17-Jul-04/4:16 PM Reply

No, honsetly. They are both explorations of the stark duality of man.

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 17-Jul-04/5:34 PM Reply

can i ask why you gave me a zero? Is it really that bad? I mean I know it's corny, but I've read much worse...

[2] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? › cuddlytiger17 18-Jul-04/2:28 PM Reply

That's a fair comment. I have upgraded you to a 2.

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 18-Jul-04/4:38 PM Reply

lol thanks i appreciate that. But really, why so low?

[8] Shuushin 16-Jul-04/7:03 PM Reply

Very nice meter, though I'd re-touch the end of the first line of stanza two.

The subject is "pimply", but I've seen a worse applications of it.

If you're up to it, I'd notch the agony level down a bit, maybe with some images that either describe this feeling you want to convey, or something else.

Or, as an intermediate fix, make the last stanza focus soley on the remedy while keeping the second to last as a transition from this agony to hope.

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 › Shuushin 16-Jul-04/7:22 PM Reply

What do you think about it this way? is it any better? I changed it before i read ur comment though, so i dint get a chance to consider what you had said...

[7] wilco 18-Jul-04/7:33 PM Reply

You're getting better.

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 › wilco 18-Jul-04/9:39 PM Reply

Personally I think this is pretty bad. I don't do too well with expressing positive emotions, at least not in writing. They come out sounding pretty corny. lol. But thank you! :)

[n/a] Miggy 7-Aug-04/6:59 PM Reply

could be a bit better considering it's a lyric, where in ny are you from anyway? (8)

[n/a] cuddlytiger17 › Miggy 7-Aug-04/9:36 PM Reply

yea i know it could be. its the first one i've ever really written. I'm from central NY, not too far north of syracuse. why?

[n/a] Miggy › cuddlytiger17 9-Aug-04/12:11 PM Reply

just askin cause I live in Queens