Re: Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	25-Feb-06/3:05 AM
Too long for me at the moment.... will have to come back for it in a fresher frame of mind.
Re: My Shattered Love by Silverjackel	26-Feb-06/3:58 AM
Seeing how negative you are in the end justifies why she has to be worse than a typhoon or a cyclone or a twister, what ever you'd call it. I would have liked a more positive ending, you might have got an -8- from me then. Saying that you prayed for her good, rather, would have it going in your favour strongly.
Re: An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	26-Feb-06/4:37 AM
I have been trying a different style from my usual. It would be helpful to know what you feel about it. I have had this in mind for a long time since Alchemy asked me to be more personal with the biblical characters I was writing about. Ref: some of my earliest poems.
Re: The Dead Poet's Dream by drnick	26-Feb-06/10:11 AM
Not bad!
Re: Buried in the Booth (edit) by drnick	26-Feb-06/10:37 AM
I'd say that this was a good write. Sometimes a writer finds it hard to put into word what he has in mind, but I think you did a pretty good job at this. Like Dovina said, a bit of less description would make it better. Good work!
Re: Iron Sky by MacFrantic	26-Feb-06/11:17 AM
I'd say you've quite a few pieces better than this. In my opinion, this ain't very impressive. I wish I could pin point.
Re: =, <>, & . . . by Dovina	4-Mar-06/10:55 AM
Dovina, you'd better translate this stuff or might be tempted to vote a -0- or a -1-. By the way how's life treating you. I can see you've gone bonkers from what you've written. Looks good though, if only I could decipher it. you should have made it more like morse code. would have been more interesting .
Re: There by Dovina	4-Mar-06/11:07 AM
Dovina, this reminds me of a song... "We are going, heaven knows where we are going We know we are. We will get there Heaven knowsthat we will get there We know we will" Reading your verse made this song pop up in my head. By the way, ]where are you going to.... and chocolates are not good for you... think of all the calories and high fat content..... not a good idea. Take my advice, don't go there.
Re: At Last in the Garden by ecargo	4-Mar-06/11:14 AM
Sings a slight depressing note. It's pretty good though! Lovely choice of words.
Re: Sour Apple by ecargo	10-Mar-06/11:52 PM
ecargo, somehow you're good. I get a taste of negativity or pessimism from your poems often, which generally I don't really like..... but somehow you have stuff that brings me back to read more of your work. Quite a bit of imagination too....
Re: Piano by Dovina	11-Mar-06/12:01 AM
The three legged monster with a large stringy mouth..... I take you you haven't had very good experiences with the Piano. Good description of it though!
Re: Navy Pier by matt door	11-Mar-06/12:10 AM
I ain't familiar with drinks... and tell me, Black and Tan, what is it? Beer? Yeah, cancel the 'Lake'. Good work matt.
Re: The Tale of Hominus Ominus by Blue Magpie	11-Mar-06/12:21 AM
Good work. You got me going till the end. I thought that this would be just some stuff written only to fill a page , ie. when I saw the length.... but you pulled it through. pretty interesting.
Re: Breakfast by Dhanesh M Kumar	11-Mar-06/12:29 AM
Will have to agree with the rest. Last stanza needs fixing. I ain't a great fan of politics and war... but I think, in my opinion, you have painted quite a picture. Bones for breakfast!
Re: Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	14-Mar-06/10:18 AM
I take it that zodiac gets very jittery when he hears anything about religion,or heaven or angels or 183 divine creatures....... or maybe he just can't stand the thought of Dovina born in heaven and nestled eternally there.
Re: Tulip by richa	26-Mar-06/10:24 AM
I think your title could have been ' Tulip boy'....it's more focused on him. and line 8 could read ' with neither purse nor name'. This is pretty good and conveys a scene I remember from Mussoorie (India) at the base of the Himalayas, where I first saw tulips.... the red and yellow flames. Keep writing!
Re: Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0	28-Mar-06/10:55 AM
This is good. But I would rather you modify the last line a bit. Some thing like, 'if only you will let him in.' As for comments, ignore what might bother you. Let each one have their say, as long as you stand your ground.
Re: Buddy by ALChemy	28-Mar-06/11:09 AM
'For my master runs not a finger through my hair'... Hmmm a nice ending to a lovely description. You're an abandoned old soul waiting desperately for His attention! If only I could put the scene I have in mind into words!
Re: A Fish is Always a Fish by Dovina	29-Mar-06/10:25 PM
I like the idea you portrayed about being sunk into utmost despair, into hell.... Surely there must be some way of getting out of it, of feigning your way through the fisherman's fingers once the hook is taken out. Many a fish has escaped this way.
Re: Old Friend by drnick	30-Mar-06/12:22 PM
Hmmm, not bad. It's got a sing song feel to it. And you've put it as free verse. OOps sorry. Looks like ecargo out did me in my comment. This is a common theme, but when well written, it's worth a read, and you've brought out something in it. Good work.