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My Shattered Love (Free verse) by Silverjackel
A tempest, strong and violent Is far less ferocious than she, As the waves crash fiercely into the ship And reflect voraciously; Her lack of benign attributes Would shatter it to pieces, Crack and splinter the hardened oak With vigor that is ceaseless; Without remorse, regret, or shame, The vessel would be lumber, As her typhoon of arrogance Would send the ship down under; And never a cry out for repent Would be uttered by she, She would stick a dagger in your chest And think it is amity; This demon of remorselessness Left me writhing on the ground, Tore my heart to tiny bits Then quickly turned around. My love is but a dismal past, Shattered by her malice; The only prayer that I now speak Is that she be damned to Satan’s palace.

Up the ladder: Stuckaluck
Down the ladder: the search

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.8410625
Overall Rank: 10689
Posted: February 25, 2006 9:57 PM PST; Last modified: February 26, 2006 1:10 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson @ 71.131.178.191 | 25-Feb-06/11:07 PM | Reply
The proper spelling would be "Voraciously"
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.35 | 26-Feb-06/12:40 AM | Reply
Its so nice to see love transcending the darkness and shining in the wilderness of our lives.
[5] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 | 26-Feb-06/3:58 AM | Reply
Seeing how negative you are in the end justifies why she has to be worse than a typhoon or a cyclone or a twister, what ever you'd call it. I would have liked a more positive ending, you might have got an -8- from me then. Saying that you prayed for her good, rather, would have it going in your favour strongly.
[6] MacFrantic @ 172.184.226.227 | 26-Feb-06/11:01 AM | Reply
I just don't know, this is better than your other post, but the adj's seem extremely forced and the scheme is too formulaic. It makes you isolate and search for rhyme. *6*
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