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My Shattered Love (Free verse) by Silverjackel

A tempest, strong and violent Is far less ferocious than she, As the waves crash fiercely into the ship And reflect voraciously; Her lack of benign attributes Would shatter it to pieces, Crack and splinter the hardened oak With vigor that is ceaseless; Without remorse, regret, or shame, The vessel would be lumber, As her typhoon of arrogance Would send the ship down under; And never a cry out for repent Would be uttered by she, She would stick a dagger in your chest And think it is amity; This demon of remorselessness Left me writhing on the ground, Tore my heart to tiny bits Then quickly turned around. My love is but a dismal past, Shattered by her malice; The only prayer that I now speak Is that she be damned to Satan’s palace.

MacFrantic 26-Feb-06/11:01 AM
I just don't know, this is better than your other post, but the adj's seem extremely forced and the scheme is too formulaic. It makes you isolate and search for rhyme. *6*




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