| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
A Fish is Always a Fish (Free verse) by Dovina I had a good beginning, but
clear sight dimmed in bright colors,
sharp hearing dulled in loud noise,
keen taste became bland with rich flavor,
young faith waned in knowledge,
godliness abdicated to virtue,
prohibitions to ingenuity,
then to cunning,
finally, the hypocrisy of worldly feigning.
Bait swallowed.
Hook set.
Fisherman smiles.
Up the ladder:
Butterfly Belly, Orchid Face
Down the ladder:
Sonata for Robin and Poet
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.714286
Posted: March 26, 2006 4:46 PM PST; Last modified: March 26, 2006 4:46 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.729984 Overall Rank: 1851 Comments:
[9]
ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11
|
27-Mar-06/12:44 AM
|
Reply
"-and I shall make you fishers of men." -Some dude.
[n/a]
Dovina @ 70.38.78.229
> ALChemy
|
27-Mar-06/12:08 PM
|
Reply
Interesting that my final line should conjure that allusion. The fisherman I had in mind is another sort of dude altogether.
Ain't it the truth? I like how you lured the reader in by making the first 3 statements (lines 2-4) things that we could all accept easily and then "set the hook" with what you really wanted to say. It was hard to disagree. Are you smiling?
Since I think of myself as the fish, I could hardly be smiling.
A fish is an animal that lives in a brook.
He can't write his name or read a book. To fool the humans is his only thought, And even though he's slippery, he still gets caught. So you better watch out for what you wish: You could grow up to be a fish.
Haven't you read the above? I already have.
What do you mean?
I already have grown up to be a fish, and I don't blast someone for theft, even if he copies a well-known song and posts it as his own.
Blast away. Anyone who doesn't know it's a well-known song should be smacked.
I disagree, and always have.
What do you disagree with? That people who didn't know should be smacked? Did YOU not know?
I like the idea you portrayed about being sunk into utmost despair, into hell.... Surely there must be some way of getting out of it, of feigning your way through the fisherman's fingers once the hook is taken out. Many a fish has escaped this way.
I see what you mean, and I know that this does not have to be the end of the story. I could write another verse about admitting defeat, giving up, and finally being rescued.
I dont know what you're doing but whatever it is its working and very well too.
Thatâs good and bad to hear from someone whose poems I seldom understand. But, on occasion, a glimmer. Thanks.
300 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
