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The Dead Poet's Dream (Free verse) by drnick In a dead poet's dreams
We ski his schemes
And everybody knows
Exactly what he means
His words are like petrol
In fossil-fueled minds
His life a sad song
His friends are all dying
The scene is mosaic
And littered with blood
The company is crying
For another fill-up
His love has just left
To come back yet again
He will misspell words
But only in pretend
His rhymes lie perfect
Without compromise
Analogies come fluent
As regular as the tides
Conveying creative energies
In scintillating style
His emotional magnitudes
Are never deemed mild
Sewing society's threads
As he weaves his lines
His sharp wit would cut
The most stubborn of minds
In a dead poet's dreams
We ski his schemes
And everyone gives
Exactly what he needs.
Up the ladder:
Carnival Creatures
Down the ladder:
Pride
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Posted: February 19, 2006 10:54 PM PST; Last modified: February 19, 2006 10:54 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.4610424 Overall Rank: 2876 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[8]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
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20-Feb-06/4:54 AM
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Reply
Did you ever read my 'Struggling Poet's Lament'? Because I know precisely what you mean here (somewhat ironically, given the context of the poem). I like how you've dealt with the idea of everyone's interpretation of a poem being correct - especially after the poet's death, and how we tend to be overly praising of a poet posthumously ('He will misspell words/But only in pretend/His rhymes lie perfect'). Very creatively done, and pleasantly concise.
[n/a]
drnick @ 24.176.22.254
> Ranger
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20-Feb-06/8:17 AM
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Reply
No, I haven't checked that out yet, but I deefinately will sometime today. Thanks, as always, for the input.
[8]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
> drnick
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20-Feb-06/8:21 AM
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Reply
Any time. I also agree with ecargo - expanding the ski aspect would work well.
[n/a]
drnick @ 141.218.35.109
> Ranger
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20-Feb-06/10:43 AM
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Reply
How could I do that? Do you mean I should make the entire poem apply to that analogy, or just go into more detail of how we "ski his schemes"?
[8]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
> drnick
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20-Feb-06/11:01 AM
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Reply
Both. In this one just expand the idea over a few more lines, but you could also rewrite this one with the analogy as the constant theme. You know what's just occurred to me? If you try the latter, use it to attempt a concrete image of a slope. If you're any good at manipulating text (which I'm not, much to my regret), I think it would work well. The phrases, the sentences are nice and short - making it fly by just like a skiier.
A cool idea, but I don't think you take the ski metaphor far enough (particularly since you like the line enough to repeat it), and some of the comparisons to other things seem scattered. Some places where the language gets a little stilted because you're writing to the rhyme (are never deemed mild; His love has just left/To come back yet again/He will misspell words/But only in pretend). You have a good sense, here and otherwise, of bringing things to an end (I think endings are sometimes the hardest thing to pull off).
Ya, I completely agree...the ideas don't exactly flow together all too well. The only common ground between them seems to be the general idea of the poem. I liked the idea of this one, and I think it has potential, but I also think that it is far from being done. I just wanted to see what everyone else though, perhaps get some ideas on how to improve. Maybe I could use looser rhymes to give myself more flexability in choise of words? Thanks for the help.
Some good thoughts here, a collection of wannas. But I the ski analogy loses me. Misspelled words, but only in pretend - that line breaks an otherwise good flow.
This doesn't make any sense. :(
Not bad!
This is so close to being favourited; I love so many of the lines in here. The only one that didn't work for me is 'Sewing society's threads'...I'm not sure why, but that grated somehow. Other than that, I think the rhyme and structure is excellent and the wordplay is very good ('Ski his schemes', 'The scene is mosaic' (actually one of the best lines I've read of yours!), 'As he weaves his lines', etc.)
Actually, now I think about it, there's so much that I like in here. Sod it. Favourited! 231 view(s)
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