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The Dead Poet's Dream (Free verse) by drnick
In a dead poet's dreams We ski his schemes And everybody knows Exactly what he means His words are like petrol In fossil-fueled minds His life a sad song His friends are all dying The scene is mosaic And littered with blood The company is crying For another fill-up His love has just left To come back yet again He will misspell words But only in pretend His rhymes lie perfect Without compromise Analogies come fluent As regular as the tides Conveying creative energies In scintillating style His emotional magnitudes Are never deemed mild Sewing society's threads As he weaves his lines His sharp wit would cut The most stubborn of minds In a dead poet's dreams We ski his schemes And everyone gives Exactly what he needs.

Down the ladder: The Pig Roast

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Weighted score: 5.4610424
Overall Rank: 2884
Posted: February 19, 2006 10:54 PM PST; Last modified: February 19, 2006 10:54 PM PST
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[8] Ranger @ | 20-Feb-06/4:54 AM | Reply
Did you ever read my 'Struggling Poet's Lament'? Because I know precisely what you mean here (somewhat ironically, given the context of the poem). I like how you've dealt with the idea of everyone's interpretation of a poem being correct - especially after the poet's death, and how we tend to be overly praising of a poet posthumously ('He will misspell words/But only in pretend/His rhymes lie perfect'). Very creatively done, and pleasantly concise.
[n/a] drnick @ > Ranger | 20-Feb-06/8:17 AM | Reply
No, I haven't checked that out yet, but I deefinately will sometime today. Thanks, as always, for the input.
[8] Ranger @ > drnick | 20-Feb-06/8:21 AM | Reply
Any time. I also agree with ecargo - expanding the ski aspect would work well.
[n/a] drnick @ > Ranger | 20-Feb-06/10:43 AM | Reply
How could I do that? Do you mean I should make the entire poem apply to that analogy, or just go into more detail of how we "ski his schemes"?
[8] Ranger @ > drnick | 20-Feb-06/11:01 AM | Reply
Both. In this one just expand the idea over a few more lines, but you could also rewrite this one with the analogy as the constant theme. You know what's just occurred to me? If you try the latter, use it to attempt a concrete image of a slope. If you're any good at manipulating text (which I'm not, much to my regret), I think it would work well. The phrases, the sentences are nice and short - making it fly by just like a skiier.
[8] ecargo @ | 20-Feb-06/7:24 AM | Reply
A cool idea, but I don't think you take the ski metaphor far enough (particularly since you like the line enough to repeat it), and some of the comparisons to other things seem scattered. Some places where the language gets a little stilted because you're writing to the rhyme (are never deemed mild; His love has just left/To come back yet again/He will misspell words/But only in pretend). You have a good sense, here and otherwise, of bringing things to an end (I think endings are sometimes the hardest thing to pull off).
[n/a] drnick @ > ecargo | 20-Feb-06/8:20 AM | Reply
Ya, I completely agree...the ideas don't exactly flow together all too well. The only common ground between them seems to be the general idea of the poem. I liked the idea of this one, and I think it has potential, but I also think that it is far from being done. I just wanted to see what everyone else though, perhaps get some ideas on how to improve. Maybe I could use looser rhymes to give myself more flexability in choise of words? Thanks for the help.
[8]... Dovina @ | 20-Feb-06/8:35 AM | Reply
Some good thoughts here, a collection of wannas. But I the ski analogy loses me. Misspelled words, but only in pretend - that line breaks an otherwise good flow.
[n/a] richa @ | 20-Feb-06/11:04 AM | Reply
This doesn't make any sense. :(
[8] amanda_dcosta @ | 26-Feb-06/10:11 AM | Reply
Not bad!
[8] Ranger @ | 9-Mar-06/4:36 AM | Reply
This is so close to being favourited; I love so many of the lines in here. The only one that didn't work for me is 'Sewing society's threads'...I'm not sure why, but that grated somehow. Other than that, I think the rhyme and structure is excellent and the wordplay is very good ('Ski his schemes', 'The scene is mosaic' (actually one of the best lines I've read of yours!), 'As he weaves his lines', etc.)
Actually, now I think about it, there's so much that I like in here. Sod it. Favourited!
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