Re: mask; an infidelity by FreeFormFixation	6-Dec-05/3:14 AM
How dare you steal from those poor Mexicans selling oranges on the street. They need every penny they can get to buy soap.
Re: laugh again by skaskowski	6-Dec-05/3:08 AM
Damn! That's a really bad case of Peyronie's disease.
Re: a comment on Jesus, you I see by amanda_dcosta	6-Dec-05/2:42 AM
Well I'm no Dark Angel but...
Re: a comment on The Incubation by oneglove	6-Dec-05/2:36 AM
It's a staple in commercial graphics. Which has a lot to do with why many people don't think of graphic designers as "real artists".
Re: The Incubation by oneglove	6-Dec-05/2:32 AM
Nice. It didn't floor me but it's nicely done.
Re: Jesus, you I see by amanda_dcosta	6-Dec-05/2:26 AM
You should have noted that this was a lyric or hymn. My personal favorite hymn: I don't care if it rains or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus. Can I getta AMEN sista?
Re: YOUR OWN PLEASURE by Zoe	6-Dec-05/2:19 AM
This poem looks like something the teacher made you write on the chalkboard for being bad. Exhausting.
Re: Thespian by BrandonW	6-Dec-05/2:15 AM
I think what they're trying to say is that Haiku are so condensed that few people are skilled enough to make them work well. There's alot more to it than 3 lines with a 5-7-5 syllable pattern.
Re: The Dark by cyan9	6-Dec-05/2:10 AM
A message similar the the end of the movie Jacob's Ladder. Sounds like an older poem of your's.
Re: Irish Holliday by Dovina	5-Dec-05/10:25 PM
Shouldn't the last line go "Would he fit in the laundry?" Christmas in Bedrock. Wilma's suckin' Fred's cock. Betty's lickin' her cunt, Barney's fuckin' her butt, and Dino's sprayin'em with his eggnog. Merry Christmas Dov and Yabbadabbadoo. -10-
Re: Snake in the Grass by thepinkbunnyofdoom	5-Dec-05/3:25 PM
Answer the question at the bottom for me please: This is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much the dream guy that she was searching for that she fell in love with him immediately. However, she never asked for his name or number and afterward could not find anyone who knew who he was. A few days later the girl killed her own sister. Question: Why did she kill her sister?
Re: FIVE LOAVES AND TWO FISH by amanda_dcosta	5-Dec-05/10:57 AM
For some reason as I read this I took on the spirit of John Denver. Perkiest I've felt in weeks. YEEHAW! Thank God I'm a country boy.
Re: a comment on Duff firs, Nawal by zodiac	5-Dec-05/5:34 AM
I thought about asking you how much of this is accurate but I figured above 80% and considering 100% is beyond possibility that ain't too bad. I figured you started with the chorus and went from there. Some of the correlations are just downright spooky.
Re: how did i forget that i have to go to work? by hendrimike	5-Dec-05/2:57 AM
If you called it a lyric poem I might have been more impressed. This is one of those meant to be said not read poems. Sounds like excerpts of Bob Dylan songs.
Re: a comment on Duff firs, Nawal by zodiac	5-Dec-05/2:45 AM
It's a Mondegreen. The only one I've seen in a different language than the song it imitates and also one of the few that makes some literal sense. It's hard enough to do a good one using just one language let alone two. Try it sometime, it's fun. http://www.fun-with-words.com/mala_mondegreens.html
Re: Through the channel by amanda_dcosta	5-Dec-05/2:12 AM
For now I'll just analyze the first stanza and then you can see if you can identify any possible flaws in the others. You should lose either "Going" or "I travel" as it is restating the obvious and is obviously a space filler. "Home" is also unneccessary. Change "packed" to over-packed. It will intensify the crowded feeling. Say "In the middle of a changing tide" This will emphasize the double meaning as being mid-event tide and mid-location tide. Say outstretched instead of "stretched out" to avoid your adjective being confused as a verb. So now we have: Traveling to class and back on a boat that's overpacked in the middle of a changing tide. Land outstretched on either side. Now you have room to add: Traveling the hours to class and back on the bow of a boat that's overpacked in the middle of a changing summertide. Land outstretched on either side. You also get some enjambment this way. You have great rhythm and flow but you need to maximize as much effect into each line as you can to hold an ever-distracted modern audience's attention. So write like 3 or 4 versions of the same poem before you settle. Now if only I can get myself to listen to my own advice more often. -8-
Re: a comment on Popular Lovers by wilco	4-Dec-05/10:09 PM
All the more reason to send them a good song.
Re: Until the Façade Comes Down by TLRufener	4-Dec-05/2:30 PM
Facade. Nope can't make that little tail thingy appear under my "C".
Re: a comment on Popular Lovers by wilco	4-Dec-05/2:26 PM
I just heard some samples. I guess it's all covers. Sounds like acid folk rock with a little Arab infuence. His voice reminds me of Presidents of the United States of America lead singer Chris Ballew.
Re: a comment on Popular Lovers by wilco	4-Dec-05/2:07 PM
You mean you didn't rock out to "Livin' on a prayer" back in the day? I hope the 9 I gave you helps mend the wound.