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FIVE LOAVES AND TWO FISH (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta
They heard His voice - they followed Him Into the desert their hearts to trim Till to the extreme point of hunger They discern His holy will. The plan to send the crowd away Before the night – the end of day They never could, nor understood On what the Master had to say. His holy will He made them know Not until fed He’d let them go, Food was scarce for the crowd so big It was just five loaves and two fish. Then He thanked and praised His Dad For the little food they had And they passed it all around To the crowd who were so glad. A balance of twelve baskets full Was gathered at the close of meal. They marveled at the wondrous way The impossible became real. It is all but plain to see Jesus comes to set us free If we just lean on Him and know How His love in us can grow. Give to all who gather near In Jesus name – with a heart of cheer And then blessings will grow and grow A real twelve baskets full and more.

Up the ladder: untitled
Down the ladder: Mixed Messages

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.865529
Overall Rank: 10359
Posted: December 5, 2005 9:44 AM PST; Last modified: December 5, 2005 9:44 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 5-Dec-05/10:57 AM | Reply
For some reason as I read this I took on the spirit of John Denver. Perkiest I've felt in weeks.


YEEHAW! Thank God I'm a country boy.
[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 | 6-Dec-05/1:36 AM | Reply
I had a problem with the first stanza, either because 1. it wasn't really desert then, 2. people are used to desert here (the place where this happened is about two hills over from where I'm sitting now), 3. although metaphorically it's cool, there's no biblical basis for them following him into the desert to the "extreme point of hunger", and/or 4. they're used to pretty extreme hunger. Odds are they were a couple hours walk from the next town (ie, no biggie in Middle Eastern terms) and didn't want to go back for food and miss the preacher. They surely knew they'd be back in their own houses by that night.

That said,
"The fringes of their deserts were strewn with broken faiths. It was significant that this wrack of fallen religions lay about the meeting of the desert and the sown. It pointed to the generation of all these creeds. They were assertions, not arguments; so they required a prophet to set them forth. The Arabs said there had been forty thousand prophets: we had record of at least some hundreds. None of them had been of the wilderness but their lives were after a pattern. Their birth set them in crowded places. An unintelligible passionate yearning drove them out into the desert. There they lived a greater or lesser time in meditation and physical abandonment; and thence they returned with their imagined message articulate, to preach it to their old, and now doubting, associates."
- T.E. Lawrence
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > zodiac | 6-Dec-05/11:05 AM | Reply
I think you will find it interesting to note that (Ref: 5 loaves & 2 fish), metaphorically speaking, they experienced a deep thirst in their hearts and were at a point where they would do anything to quench their thirsting spirits ( desert phase), that they were willing to even think about trimming their ways. No doubt there is no ref. to desert, but doesn't your heart too feel the dryness and yearning for life, to rebloom with freshness and vitality sometime or the other..... whether you wish to admit it or not.
Note that Jesus came and refreshed not only their spirits, but in the bargain He also satisfied their bodily need for food.
So take delight in Him and He will give you all your hearts desires.

Need I say more, brother?

Thanks for your input. Makes me rethink my own words....
[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > amanda_dcosta | 7-Dec-05/12:38 AM | Reply
Religiously and metaphorically, yes. But, from a literary standpoint, a metaphor needs to work in the literal sense before you can worry about making it work in the metaphorical sense. Consider comparisons like

"He was intolerably stupid, Alex Trebek with a better moustache",
or
"his hands so tenderly caressing the piano keys were miniature David Beckhams sprinting across the cricket pitch".

Sure, the guy's stupid, and sure someone playing well is like David Beckham, but the metaphors fall apart, because Alex Trebek isn't stupid and has a great moustache, or because David Beckham is a good soccer player, not a good cricketer.

I'm not disputing your actual meaning, which is a good one. But if you have to get a Christian message across by changing the literal events in the Bible -well, that can't happen, can it?

Cheers
-zodiac
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > zodiac | 6-Dec-05/12:36 PM | Reply
God awaits you Zodiac.

http://www.scouting.nl/static/illualto/jungle04.gif
"Trusssst in meeee, jusssst in meee."
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