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Until the Façade Comes Down (Free verse) by TLRufener
For some things there are no words There is no way to explain what we feel Nothing we can do to make things better We only desire the past A past that we can no longer achieve We stepped too far beyond that day Everything has changed between us Nothing more can be said As we have already spoken too much I have told you what is in my heart And you have spoken what is in yours You are content on the outside I have erected a grand façade As sturdy as it may appear, it is weak One glance, one whisper, one smile Will send it crashing to the ground You have heard all I can speak But there is so much more to be said Without the strength to speak it We are here in this exact second And we shall stay until the façade comes down

Up the ladder: regret
Down the ladder: the solitary tree

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Weighted score: 4.970199
Overall Rank: 8487
Posted: December 3, 2005 9:18 PM PST; Last modified: December 3, 2005 9:18 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] zodiac @ 81.10.123.209 | 4-Dec-05/2:55 AM | Reply
Once again -

At best, you're only able to express a nine-word thought here. That is, you can't even express as sophisticated a thought as any of the sentences in this comment do - which, incidentally, aren't very sophisticated. Don't you think that limits your poetry just a little?

I do wish you'd occasionally acknowledge some of our comments. At least so we'll know you're choosing to disregard our criticisms and continue in your chosen style, rather than thinking - as we do - that you're just ignoring us or illiterate. If you respond, I promise to never post this comment again.
[n/a] TLRufener @ 68.115.23.42 > zodiac | 4-Dec-05/11:13 AM | Reply
I read every comment that I receive, and I save the good ones in my "Improvement List" on my computer. I like to read them just to see if my new work fits what I have been asked to do. Sometimes it does fit, sometimes it doesn't.
[7] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 4-Dec-05/6:58 AM | Reply
...And we without.
But you will.
One as I.
You and I as nothing.
Everything we,
a we(e) nothing therefor(e).

I knew there was some good poetry in there.


[5] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 4-Dec-05/1:31 PM | Reply
First off, don't start a poem with "there are no words" and "there is no way to explain how I feel"....If there's no words and there's no way to explain it why did you write it? Better yet, why am I reading it?

This is a love letter, not a poem. It COULD be a poem if you look in there and find the poetry in it.
[7] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 4-Dec-05/2:30 PM | Reply
Facade.

Nope can't make that little tail thingy appear under my "C".
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