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Jesus, you I see (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta
Jesus in my life I see Touching every part of me With His grace - abundantly Jesus, you I see. My life goes through With ups and downs Unfurling times of tears and laughs In all of this, there's not a doubt Jesus, you I see. With every step or act of mine There's someone else, someone divine Who guides me through to be my best Jesus you I see. Each time the sun shines brightly Or sets at dusk each day, Each time the sun goes twinkling by Or seems to rest up there, Each time the clouds grow bigger And then begin to rain; Astoundingly, its evident Jesus, you I see. In family, who love me, In friends who share my life, In nature all around me In land and sea and sky, No matter where I seem to be At work or play or sleep You're always there my one true friend... You're Jesus! You I see!

Down the ladder: Sonnet Eighteen

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.625
Weighted score: 4.899147
Overall Rank: 9896
Posted: December 5, 2005 10:43 PM PST; Last modified: December 5, 2005 10:43 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 6-Dec-05/2:26 AM | Reply
You should have noted that this was a lyric or hymn.

My personal favorite hymn:
I don't care if it rains or freezes
as long as I got my plastic Jesus.

Can I getta AMEN sista?
[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > ALChemy | 6-Dec-05/2:29 AM | Reply
Poor girl. You're gonna scare her to death. I can promise you they don't have people like you in Goa.
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > zodiac | 6-Dec-05/2:42 AM | Reply
Well I'm no Dark Angel but...
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > zodiac | 6-Dec-05/11:14 AM | Reply
I'm a bit curious..... How much do you know 'bout Goa. At the moment i'm in transition here. would be interesting to note your insight.
[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > amanda_dcosta | 7-Dec-05/12:42 AM | Reply
Just what I read in college. It's where St Francis Xavier is buried, right? How did you end up there?
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > zodiac | 7-Dec-05/10:15 PM | Reply
St Francis Xavier is exposed there, in his coffin.... at the Bom Jesus Church at Old Goa. We took a couple of snaps out there 4 days ago, though the lighting was poor....the whole area supposed to be plated with gold.
[n/a] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 > ALChemy | 6-Dec-05/11:20 AM | Reply
Alchemy, to be frank, i don't know what is characteristic of a lyric, or limmerick, or ballad, or haiku/haiki (or whatever it is called). I write as i feel and don't bother about the type, though i guess it would be nice to know what is what.
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > amanda_dcosta | 6-Dec-05/12:11 PM | Reply
It's fairly true to the form of a hymn. By calling it a lyric or a ballad or anything that implies that it might be sung it will increase your chances of getting a good vote for a mediocre poem.
http://poetry.allinfo-about.com/
http://www.poetrypower.com/poetry.htm
Best links I could find so far. Knowing what is what can only make your poetry better which is pretty good so far I might add.
[7] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 > ALChemy | 7-Dec-05/3:44 PM | Reply
Exactly what are you saying, sir?
[8] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > wilco | 7-Dec-05/5:19 PM | Reply
Don't get me wrong there's some good lyrics out there but the expectations of a lyric are set lower in many peoples minds.
If it sounds like a good song you'll tend to get a higher vote because people are used to lyrics not translating to print well.
[7] sliver @ 172.191.201.220 | 7-Dec-05/7:20 PM | Reply
A good way to live life.Knowing God is watching has a tendency to keep you honest.
[7] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 7-Dec-05/8:45 PM | Reply
I'm not real big on praise poems...I get why people do it..it's just not my cup of tea. Still, it's written pretty well.

On a related note, I really think people should log in before they give you a zero...just common fucking courtesy if you ask me.
[0] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.13.138 > wilco | 21-Jun-06/2:57 AM | Reply
I entirely agree. I nearly always log in to deliver a zero (excpt when I give myself one).
[0] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.13.138 | 21-Jun-06/2:56 AM | Reply
Very amusing little ditty. Unrealistic though.
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