Re: Prayer by amanda_dcosta	16-Sep-06/10:56 AM
I waited on the Lord, called on Him morning and night. Then, like the rush of stormy wind, He spoke with void-filling torrent, breaking the stillness of my heart. Sorry
Re: weather poem part 7: a short, sudden gust by nypoet22	16-Sep-06/11:28 AM
Don't you mean, haiku? funny
Re: a fresh start by *.*ReAdY To SnAp.*.	23-Sep-06/1:02 PM
Even if it has all been said many times, the impact of it must be like that great change of address we've read so much about, but none of us can describe from experience.
Re: Shadows In Your Eyes by PoeticJustice	23-Sep-06/1:09 PM
Well, I can see from this how you feel, and that's a good thing. A lot of poets these days put a lid on their feelings, and all we get from them is language. What we want from you, however, is language. The other comments have said it; we want to read your clever turn of phrase and all that stuff. Just don't give up the other.
Re: Farmhouse, Southern France (storm on arrival) by Ranger	23-Sep-06/1:19 PM
You know, Ranger, I always enjoy reading your poems for the language and clever phrases, but I'll be damned if I can pull many of them together and come up with some unifying picture of the poem as a whole. The meter is good here, and these are a unique ways of saying things, and maybe it's my own inadequacy as a reader, but can you come through with more clarity on the overall theme, if there is one?
Re: Weather poem part 6: idols by nypoet22	23-Sep-06/1:30 PM
I like this, but I think the three verses beginning with "poor artist" are overwrought. They say that an artist cannot one-up on nature, an often-said idea that's good, but can be shortened.
Re: Her Eyes by Fayt	24-Sep-06/2:49 PM
Here you have writen an outline for the essence of a poem. It is not a poem, but good thoughts that you can make into a poem. Nice start.
Re: Solving Freud's Conflict (not a weather poem) by nypoet22	24-Sep-06/7:40 PM
Freud has been a called a man with "a whole climate of opinion." - WH Auden. So you have written a Freudian weather poem. Admit its inevitability. Death solves many conflicts, and our atoms mix eventually with those we hate. Best not to hate; maybe that's what you;re saying. Good poem.
Re: Attention, This Just In by thepinkbunnyofdoom	25-Sep-06/3:28 PM
It seems overly wordy for what's being said, as if it's a first draft. Could be made into something though. Led, not lead, in the penultimate verse.
Re: Doubtcohol by drnick	27-Sep-06/9:10 PM
If you take the "c" from the title, it will sound more like "alcohol." Capitals at line beginnings are not consistent. "stays unperturbed" It's a good poem in need of help.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Sep-06/11:16 AM
Welcome back. Very sensual and direct. "the kisses" in line 4 could lose "the." "feet;" should have a period I think. Why the comma in "you, now"?
Re: Colors of Me by MissUnderstood	29-Sep-06/11:20 AM
For your age, this is quite good. If your were 50, I would say it is a collection of cliches. The glory of youth is the newness of everything. It's quite refreshing. Keep writing, you're better at it than most thirteen-yeart-olds.
Re: Wyndham by Aetius	29-Sep-06/12:43 PM
You have been on Poemranker since 4/04, have posted 8 poems, commented on none, voted on none. And you have the audacity to expect comment and votes on this! Have a nice day. :(
Re: Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>	30-Sep-06/11:05 AM
If the indented lines are someone talking, and the non-indented lines someone else, then the two seem not conversing, but each in their own world. Either way, "someone" in the last verse, as opposed to "Someone" means to me that the person talking continues from two verses above, ignoring the other. Anyway, a nice set of thoughts on a peaceful getaway.
Re: Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk by nypoet22	30-Sep-06/11:10 AM
It's hard to tell a story with verses in haiku. And they are haiku only in meter. I think it's too restraining to do that. A good try though.
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	30-Sep-06/11:27 AM
Frankly, I don't understand you on this one. If she is affectedly pretty and cute, as opposed to actually pretty, then why would you, a saint, want to give yourself to her? Probably, there is something I am missing here. I had to look up "twee" a briticism that I may be misinterpreting. Or maybe it's a sly way of saying you are not a saint.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-06/11:38 AM
kestrel - a falcon that can hover in the air. I have seen them diving like this - a good description of it.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Oct-06/4:49 PM
A relaxing read, like something I'd like him to read to me by candlelight, two glasses of cabernet already poured.
Re: untitled by harryparatestes	2-Oct-06/3:47 PM
A good start, this. A good concept. Forgotten tears seems to contradict with painful memories. And opportunities should replace the "y's" construct I think. Broken and shattered mean about the same thing. "thers" should be "there's"; "its", "it's".
Re: Weather Poem part 4: Cleaning Day by nypoet22	2-Oct-06/4:00 PM
I like this down through "pinched in the eye." Then it loses momentum. Maybe lose "at her direction." And "was mild" is, well, mild. Otherwise good.