Re: Drinking Knowledge by gregsamsa222	lmp 141.154.134.3	31-May-06/10:28 AM
i suppose you intend to quench the thirst for knowledge, eh? cleverly done, and i noticed progession of the various beverages throughout the day. but there are so many areas of study, where next and what beverage/food will be appropriate? perhaps dietary sciences could have a shot of wheatgrass, and so on... the options are limitless. so much so, you could make several sequels...
Re: trained by calliope	Sunny 65.118.48.2	30-May-06/3:17 PM
A few thoughts: -L5S1: I don't find your choice of "delicious" a great amplifying of description -L3S2: A nit-pick...but I would add "where" to the following line to enhance a cleaner line break if I were you -Even though a very shadowed one, you write of the city's character & personality per say pretty well. Nicely done. ~Sunny Sweep down and gather the clouds in an aluminum bowl. Travel through the trellis where the vagrants have embellished the delicate, delicious cement with graffiti. Climb up the side of the Sears Tower. Wipe all the windows where widows were made after businessmen husbands were pimped at and paid. Then spend some time on the platform at night. Let a few trains pass before you ride. And take in the sights before you burrow beneath and disappear til your lonliness brings you back here.
Re: Enigma by BadPoet	BadPoet 195.248.127.186	30-May-06/12:02 AM
It's a long time since I came on this board to see what was going on. I'm pleased that some of you liked it and took the trouble to tell me this. Really I'm no poet - from way back I learned not to like it at all. This was at school where poetry memorising and reading was compulsory and I was more interested in Maths and Science. My output is very limited, but I like to get hold of an idea and give it a really sharp twist to see what happens. Best wishes to all - you're great! Bad Poet.
Re: A naughty strumpet by John Rambo	MacFrantic 172.197.62.26	29-May-06/6:23 PM
Brilliant! *10*
Re: Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick	amanda_dcosta 202.164.138.99	29-May-06/5:25 AM
drnick, I came upon this accidentally, and was quite `happy I did. This is pretty good giving a very Utopian feeling. You, capturing the mood in words, need commending. Good job.
Re: Godproof Hat by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 202.164.138.99	29-May-06/5:21 AM
Dovina, Frankly, this reminds me to a similar piece posted on poemranker before. I don't know if it's yours or if its an edit of a previous piece, but it looks too familiar. It has an amusing tone to it, but not too impressive.
Re: Writers' Block by wilco	lmp 141.154.134.3	26-May-06/3:39 PM
perhaps using the word "write" instead would be more appropriate. clever, nonetheless.
Re: Censor by nentwined	lmp 141.154.134.3	26-May-06/3:38 PM
cute. sorry, i know that may sound like a comment best left unsaid, but i do like it. i think you could do more with it, maybe editing a poem you have already written so there are no adjectives? and still convey the message...
Re: A Fart For All Mankind by Edna Sweetlove	lmp 141.154.134.3	26-May-06/3:33 PM
trite, but one of you better works. you may find an audience with 8 year old boys or perhaps employment as a writer for the next Austin Powers movie.
Re: a comment on The Flawed Inventor by Caducus	Caducus 86.141.200.125	26-May-06/1:30 AM
brown windows are the eyes of the inventor.
Re: The Freezer by Bazilla	Sunny 66.69.36.222	25-May-06/11:16 PM
Funny, I made some nit-picks next to some of your lines though... You had to clap out on us, It was sad but true, All the chicken within,> I'm honestly asking, is the insertion of commas even when they aren't necessary a certain form because I've seen it done several times & seriously don't know Had to be stewed. All the food has had to be cooked, And all the remains, 13 Curries to keep us going till Xmas,> You can still have a lax style to this poem & make "till" - " 'till" & "Xmas" - "Christmas"...Christmas isn't that hard to spell after all :) 10 Chicken Tonights for all the days,> Umm, "Chicken Tonights"...what?? And Vienettas galore. We got ??170 composations,> The ?? before 170 is a bit strange looking; I'd put them behind the number, if I was going to put them in at all But if the truth be told,> This whole line could very well be taken out in my opinion It turned out it was the fuse, That refused to be so bold. So now we have high portions, And now we have ??170, And now we have our freezer back, And now we have a fuse.> Too many lines of the same stanza above. You could leave this stanza, but condense all the 'and's' & repition in general I think I love you Freezer, You keep me warm, Please don't ever leave, I mean you no harm.> Intended strange last impression that means, well, who knows what?? -Sunny
Re: The Flawed Inventor by Caducus	Sunny 66.69.36.222	25-May-06/10:58 PM
Interesting lesson you learned & took note to...A few notes I wanted to point out: -L4S4: Very smart when looking at the aftermath in this 'story' -L2S2: I recognize the "brown" of "brown windows" is repeated in the last stanza, but I don't understand the signifigant meaning behind the use of brown??? -Sunny
Re: Monsters by wilco	wilco 24.92.74.122	25-May-06/9:31 PM
You can hear what this song sounds like played live here: http://www.myspace.com/thefrayedwires
Re: a comment on Descendent by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 63.18.107.70	25-May-06/10:50 AM
"descendent" has double meaning. It signifies movement downward as well as the relation to ancestors. "descendant" only relates to ancestry. Also, I was just very lazy with the punctuation. I don't even know why I bothered. I'm glad you were displeased by the quality of this poem. It wasn't written to your liking (thank god).
Re: Give Me Some Time by Miggy	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.231.241	25-May-06/8:26 AM
6) this goes on a bit yay yay yay yay
Re: To My Love by sliver	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.231.241	25-May-06/8:25 AM
The word which springs to mind is "dreary".
Re: Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.231.241	25-May-06/8:24 AM
I gave a metaphorical 'owl of agony as I read this.
Re: Descendent by MacFrantic	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.231.241	25-May-06/8:23 AM
Do you by any chance mean "descendant" ??? The poem's not much good either.
Re: a comment on A Sexy Crucifixion Poem by Edna Sweetlove	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.231.241	25-May-06/8:20 AM
dear common horus: your spelling is on a par with your nasty opinions.
Re: a comment on Pawn by Blindpoetry	Blindpoetry 70.172.227.111	25-May-06/7:53 AM
neither is your critisism.