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A Fart For All Mankind (Free verse) by Edna Sweetlove I heard the world's loudest fart today
It echoed round the town enough to say
"I am a fart of great renown and fame,
I am a fart who's worthy of the name
Of KING of FARTS!" Unthinkingly I sniffed
And, let me tell you, I have never whiffed
Aught so potent, dank and dread and foul
Blasted out from heaving human bowel
As that king of farts I smelled today
And which took my fucking breath away.
Who was the pumper of that putrid beauty?
How many curries in the line of duty
Had he consumed? It must have been a man -
No pong so strong ere blew from female can.
Can no one answer yet my urgent question:
And say who suffereth such dire indigestion?
O heavens! his torment must be something chronic.
Can no one subsidise a high colonic
Irrigation to prevent another
Noisier and more noisome than its younger brother?
Up the ladder:
War zone
Down the ladder:
Sonnet for Snow
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.3125
Posted: May 23, 2006 3:52 PM PDT; Last modified: May 23, 2006 3:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.3125 Overall Rank: 865 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[7]
lmp @ 141.154.134.3
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26-May-06/3:33 PM
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Reply
trite, but one of you better works. you may find an audience with 8 year old boys or perhaps employment as a writer for the next Austin Powers movie.
Exactly, once again you Brits prove you're entire universe is a black and white snap shot of a fatman sipping tea, and smelling ass. Thank god I'm a yankee, I can at least move past fart noises and onto other things like Jews, media, toast, and imploding politicians. fucking limey pirate cunt, I wouldn't even throw a dart at you in a pub on a whim. Because see, I'm on mushrooms and playing music, and writing poetry mate. I'm handsome, and blasting through life all a gawk, but you, you're a fucking whiner, and a bore. You always have been, to be Frank, although I'm Horus. You understand, that's why you read it, and whine, not imaginative enough to have done anything with your life. just another suit in a long line of complaints.
Jesus BURPS and FARTS for yuou!
Very fucking Chaucerian. Sounds likemy Mummy.
Jesus will not forgive you for this!
I can sniff it from here.
I never knew this website was so FARTY! Another lovely fart poem!
Dr Toilet likes this one as he likes toilet things!
Very clever. I love farting.
priasmic
Better than Shitshin
Excellent.Better than Rockmage and Shuushit.
This is great. Everybody else are cunt-holes.
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