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Sonnet for Snow (Sonnet) by ecargo
In these woods, the mind turns to small matters, the eye turns to truer treasures: a mouse trail curving through the skim of snow pauses riverside, meanders on, lost to red-tail swaying into wind; a white pine drilled with Pileated holes. (We knock to make the red squirrel peek out, scold.) I shake the snow-webs free from spreading pines, and laugh as snow-spray coats you white, below. We chase our beckoning shadows, as we wind through stands of silver beech, a copse of snow- brushed spruce, great spires rising to the sky. Our breath soughs, forming patterns in the air, and words hang weblike, scatter, disappear.

Up the ladder: A Fart For All Mankind
Down the ladder: To You, In Warmer Climes

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Arithmetic Mean: 9.875
Weighted score: 6.3110895
Overall Rank: 866
Posted: February 13, 2006 10:31 PM PST; Last modified: February 13, 2006 11:01 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] Glasseyez @ 204.49.132.43 | 14-Feb-06/12:44 AM | Reply
Great I love it
(We knock to make the red squirrel peek out, scold.)
watch out he'll throw a nut at you
[9] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 14-Feb-06/2:24 AM | Reply
A collection of fantastic lines; not only that but it made me go and find out what 'soughs' means...my learning for the day is done.
[10] zodiac @ 209.193.18.30 | 14-Feb-06/12:55 PM | Reply
Nice.
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 | 14-Feb-06/3:54 PM | Reply
Very natural in every sense.
[10] god'swife @ 71.103.98.44 | 20-Feb-06/5:33 PM | Reply
Lovely. One small suggestion; change 'the eye turns..' to 'and the eye...'

You have 'turns' in the first line and turns with truer is a bit stiff.
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