I heard the world's loudest fart today It echoed round the town enough to say "I am a fart of great renown and fame, I am a fart who's worthy of the name Of KING of FARTS!" Unthinkingly I sniffed And, let me tell you, I have never whiffed Aught so potent, dank and dread and foul Blasted out from heaving human bowel As that king of farts I smelled today And which took my fucking breath away. Who was the pumper of that putrid beauty? How many curries in the line of duty Had he consumed? It must have been a man - No pong so strong ere blew from female can. Can no one answer yet my urgent question: And say who suffereth such dire indigestion? O heavens! his torment must be something chronic. Can no one subsidise a high colonic Irrigation to prevent another Noisier and more noisome than its younger brother?