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A Sexy Crucifixion Poem (Free verse) by Edna Sweetlove
He cringed in terror on the crucifix As the Palestinian sun blazed above There were three of them hanging up on the hill And he heard the ladder being put in place And He felt a hand in His agony Creeping up under his loincloth Tickling His smelly goolies tenderly Massaging Him and taking out His mighty cock And then His mother's pretty head went down And He felt her ruby lips on His knob Drawing out His semen and he knew It might be His last orgasm on earth So He thanked her for swallowing Every last salty Holy gobbet Especially since He hadn't washed for days And was cheesier than any delicatessen.

Up the ladder: Mom And Dad
Down the ladder: recent submissions

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
10  .. 732
.. 06
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
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.. 01
.. 212

Arithmetic Mean: 6.4492755
Weighted score: 6.4492755
Overall Rank: 738
Posted: May 14, 2006 3:10 AM PDT; Last modified: May 14, 2006 3:10 AM PDT
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The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:


[0] ALChemy @ | 14-May-06/8:18 AM | Reply
What, no rimjob?

Ps. There is no loincloth. He's not Tarzan.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove @ > ALChemy | 20-Jun-06/3:58 PM | Reply
Dear ALC: I hope wou'll revise your 5/10 mark now we are on friendly terms again! I think you must agree this is a gem.
[0] ALChemy @ > Edna Sweetlove | 21-Jun-06/6:33 AM | Reply
I don't want to burn in hell for giving it a ten. I spotted you a couple on some of the other poems though.
[0] Niphredil @ | 14-May-06/11:33 AM | Reply
Ew. That aside, I was wondering, does this poem have a point? I mean, are you actually trying to say something meaningful, apart from (the obvious) provocation for provocation's sake?
[10] Engelbert Humpalot @ > Niphredil | 17-Aug-06/9:33 AM | Reply
As I see it, this is taking the pis out of those stupid Christian twats.
[n/a] horus8 @ | 21-May-06/10:38 PM | Reply
Yes, the palestinian sun is so much more yellow than the kike one. You are aware. even smoking that pulsing pale bananna like a heady hippie looking for a queerly biblical retreat.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove @ > horus8 | 25-May-06/8:20 AM | Reply
dear common horus: your spelling is on a par with your nasty opinions.
[10] conny lingers @ | 18-Jun-06/5:07 AM | Reply
[0] lukehanney @ | 25-Jul-06/5:29 AM | Reply
Vulgar and disgusting. Awful
[10] Engelbert Humpalot @ | 10-Aug-06/10:07 AM | Reply
I laughed so hard I pissed my Y-fronts.
[0] leonxic @ | 12-Aug-06/5:43 PM | Reply
Wow, how trendy of you to be so contrversial. Homo-erotic biblical poetry may be a somewhat original topic but this is written poorly and is plain tasteless. I can only assume it is on the best list through your own efforts.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove @ > leonxic | 17-Aug-06/3:30 AM | Reply
Why don't you slither off under your stone?
[0] leonxic @ > Edna Sweetlove | 17-Aug-06/10:27 AM | Reply
It's being renovated.
[0] Stephen Robins @ | 14-Aug-06/8:59 AM | Reply
You're such an annoyingly gay cunt.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove @ > Stephen Robins | 17-Aug-06/3:29 AM | Reply
And you're such an ill-mannered piece of dung.
[10] creepshow @ | 21-Aug-06/5:53 PM | Reply
Finally something with some fucking emotion, and something that screams red colors flashing your eyes grabbing attention to it...beautiful. And how true that there is such pleasant ecstacy in sheer agony...even if it is super cheesy and You rock!
[10] Sing4Jesus! @ | 23-Aug-06/9:46 AM | Reply
Jesus farts TWICE for you!
[0] Hostileintent @ | 11-Oct-06/4:47 AM | Reply
disgusting. try changing the characters to your mother and brother and see if its still as good.
[0] deleted user @ | 8-Mar-07/9:19 AM | Reply
[10] Engelbert Humpalot @ | 7-Oct-07/9:55 AM | Reply
I seem to have evacuated my bowels with laughter after reading this. Will you pay for the drycleaning?
[10] Sheeva @ | 18-May-09/8:59 AM | Reply
this is oddly both a distrubing and enjoyable poem //.,^
[10] conny lingers @ 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 | 2-Feb-21/8:43 AM | Reply
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