poemranker ::A Sexy Crucifixion Poem by Edna Sweetlove

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 143125

A Sexy Crucifixion Poem

by Edna Sweetlove

Member since 2006 · Posted 14 May 2006 · 22 comments

He cringed in terror on the crucifix As the Palestinian sun blazed above There were three of them hanging up on the hill And he heard the ladder being put in place And He felt a hand in His agony Creeping up under his loincloth Tickling His smelly goolies tenderly Massaging Him and taking out His mighty cock And then His mother's pretty head went down And He felt her ruby lips on His knob Drawing out His semen and he knew It might be His last orgasm on earth So He thanked her for swallowing Every last salty Holy gobbet Especially since He hadn't washed for days And was cheesier than any delicatessen.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 6.45 weighted 6.45 rank 737 views 551 View voting details →

69 votes so far. Yours would make 70.69 votes so far

A favorite of creepshow.

22 comments

[0] ALChemy 14-May-06/8:18 AM Reply
What, no rimjob?

Ps. There is no loincloth. He's not Tarzan.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove › ALChemy 20-Jun-06/3:58 PM Reply
Dear ALC: I hope wou'll revise your 5/10 mark now we are on friendly terms again! I think you must agree this is a gem.
[0] ALChemy › Edna Sweetlove 21-Jun-06/6:33 AM Reply
I don't want to burn in hell for giving it a ten. I spotted you a couple on some of the other poems though.
[0] Niphredil 14-May-06/11:33 AM Reply
Ew. That aside, I was wondering, does this poem have a point? I mean, are you actually trying to say something meaningful, apart from (the obvious) provocation for provocation's sake?
[10] Engelbert Humpalot › Niphredil 17-Aug-06/9:33 AM Reply
As I see it, this is taking the pis out of those stupid Christian twats.
[n/a] horus8 21-May-06/10:38 PM Reply
Yes, the palestinian sun is so much more yellow than the kike one. You are aware. even smoking that pulsing pale bananna like a heady hippie looking for a queerly biblical retreat.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove › horus8 25-May-06/8:20 AM Reply
dear common horus: your spelling is on a par with your nasty opinions.
[10] conny lingers 18-Jun-06/5:07 AM Reply
yummy
[0] lukehanney 25-Jul-06/5:29 AM Reply
Vulgar and disgusting. Awful
[10] Engelbert Humpalot 10-Aug-06/10:07 AM Reply
I laughed so hard I pissed my Y-fronts.
[0] leonxic 12-Aug-06/5:43 PM Reply
Wow, how trendy of you to be so contrversial. Homo-erotic biblical poetry may be a somewhat original topic but this is written poorly and is plain tasteless. I can only assume it is on the best list through your own efforts.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove › leonxic 17-Aug-06/3:30 AM Reply
Why don't you slither off under your stone?
[0] leonxic › Edna Sweetlove 17-Aug-06/10:27 AM Reply
It's being renovated.
[0] Stephen Robins 14-Aug-06/8:59 AM Reply
You're such an annoyingly gay cunt.
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove › Stephen Robins 17-Aug-06/3:29 AM Reply
And you're such an ill-mannered piece of dung.
[10] creepshow 21-Aug-06/5:53 PM Reply
Finally something with some fucking emotion, and something that screams red colors flashing your eyes grabbing attention to it...beautiful. And how true that there is such pleasant ecstacy in sheer agony...even if it is super cheesy and dirrrty...lol. You rock!
[10] Sing4Jesus! 23-Aug-06/9:46 AM Reply
Jesus farts TWICE for you!
[0] Hostileintent 11-Oct-06/4:47 AM Reply
disgusting. try changing the characters to your mother and brother and see if its still as good.
[0] deleted user 8-Mar-07/9:19 AM Reply
fabulous
[10] Engelbert Humpalot 7-Oct-07/9:55 AM Reply
I seem to have evacuated my bowels with laughter after reading this. Will you pay for the drycleaning?
[10] Sheeva 18-May-09/8:59 AM Reply
WTF!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!???????
this is oddly both a distrubing and enjoyable poem //.,^
[10] conny lingers 2-Feb-21/8:43 AM Reply
Hilarious!