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Mom And Dad (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom My mother is a hippocrite
My father is full of shit
My life is so fucked up
Who cares its fucked up?
Well everything that i've ever done was never good enough for any one
Well now i'm having my revenge
I'm going to burn you and your shit town
Its all coming down
The flames are shooting up and burning down
Everything that you once tried to build
Your world is falling apart
And now you know how it feels
My parents are killing me
For the way that i am
My world is falling apart
And there is is nothing that i can do
Well i'm gonna rip out your guts and throw'em against the wall
Now you'll know my pain
And i won't have to explain
The hurt inside of my head
Cause you'll all be dead
And i'll be left all alone
My mom and dad are destroying me
And there is nothing that i can do
Well i'm gonna fight back
I'm gonna be heard
You'll all know my name
I'm gonna murder and massacure and burn your ass
Teach you the meaning of pain
You'll all know my name
And my suffering
Up the ladder:
As Catullus Said (Updated and Revised)
Down the ladder:
A Sexy Crucifixion Poem
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.4761906
Posted: January 27, 2003 4:57 PM PST; Last modified: January 27, 2003 4:57 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.4496393 Overall Rank: 736 Comments:
[2]
Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154
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28-Jan-03/12:26 AM
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Reply
yikes. yeah..that about says it all. you know i was going to come over here with a squad of superfiscialy intelligent fish heads and minions, and give you a pleasant berating, but then i read your poem,. and openly wept for abused 'childes' everywhere, and forget why i came...oh yeah to say well. NO-BRAINER.enjoy your time here. here's some dry turkey sole. 0. nah fuckit you apparently gave it all. granted a brick, an air ball, but what the hell. right? 2?
"Like, ohmygawd, my parents are SOOO unfair!! They won't let me out to do crystal meth on a school night and they even say I wear too much makeup! Ohmygawd, I'm like so totally pissed. I'm going to make really half-assed inarticulate poemes about how I want to kill them!" Kiddo, you write like a nu-metal Charlie Manson. Except I doubt you could get any followers. Tell you what. I'll take you out on a nice Hot Topic shopping spree and then drive you up to the mall where you can scare the preppie normals. Cheer up, Buttercup! What exactly is a 'massacure'? A really bad manicure? Oh, yeah, I know. It's the result of a Grade 8 American public school education. Here, a zero of spoooky ragin' teenage angst.
Bad manicure! Wonderful!!! I love you razorgrin.
Look, pinkbunny person, I just read your other two, and I've already left a comment about the style. I think everyone's in agreement that teen angst doesn't make for good poetry, and if you want people to take you seriously then you need to at least try to write serious poetry. Even if it isn't any good, people will feel more inclined to give help to a serious work than to a pointless piece of rage. As miss zzinnia said to me, it's the people who give you criticism that will make you a better writer (mostly). Try something new, there'll always be people who will give you good advice. Anyway, you should love your parents. Unless they beat you or something. 275 view(s)
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