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As Catullus Said (Updated and Revised) (Other) by Sasha
V
Honey, letâs live. letâs really live for love.
The hell with what those greyhead foggies bawl
That crapâs not worth the shine off a bent-up penny.
The sun may set, though suns can rise again,
But when the hot glow of our short-lived light
Gives us the last cold smoulder, then the night
Plunges our slumber through a dawnless gloom.
So serve me a thousand kisses! Then a hundred
More thousands! Donât stop now! Another hundred
And millions more, serve up another hundred
We lose count as we volley and serve them all.
Donât stop to count them. Evil eyes might leer
And glitter green with envy at our kisses.
VIII
O poor Catullus, stupid long enough!
Open your eyes and see: Whatâs gone is gone.
Once how the sunlight sparkled! Glorious weather
When you would stroll out after her: A girl
Loved as no other ever was or will be.
The things we did, the fun we had together,
Some things I wanted, things she eased me into.
Then how the sunlight sparkled- glorious weather.
Now she wants out: Get over it! Endure it!
Donât dawdle after her; donât you sit moping,
Make up your mind to be a man. Endure!
Just say: Goodbye girl. Show her what youâre made of.
Just tell her: I donât need you; wonât come crawling.
But youâll be sorry when thereâs none to love you.
Whoâs there to love and live for? Whatâs to live for?
Whoâll hover round you? Praise your bodyâs beauty?
What manâs the new one? Whose will you be called?
Whose lips on yours? Teeth- teasing tongue...O stop it!
Stupid Catullus, be a man! Endure!
XVI
Iâll bend you over, and Iâll fuck your faces,
You, facial Furus and you, anal Aurelius
For thinking me a lewd man for my writing
Which is, in fact, quite sensual and slutty.
A pious poet needs his chastity,
Who said his verses canât be naughty though?
My verses need some charm, and should be witty,
And so they must be sensual and slutty
And sexy- so theyâre able to arouse,
Not boys, but hairy men who just canât raise
Their listless, lifeless dicks up from the dead.
Because youâve read of kisses by the thousand,
You think me unmanly? Less of what Iâm made of?
Iâll bend you over, and Iâll fuck your faces
XLIV
The balm of vernal warmth is back already.
Already now the breath of western breezes
Hushes the heavens' equinoctial rage.
Catullus, leave the Phrygian fields and plains
For meads that teem in the Nicaean country,
Letâs fly to Asiaâs cities, gold in glory.
My soulâs aflutter as it yearns for travel.
I feel new life. The eager feet grow strong.
Farewell dear friends who left your distant homes
To rove and roam, this way and that way, wandering
By winding roads that wind up in one place.
LXX
âAnd Iâd still love you if high Juppiter
Were hitting on me. Still I would, I swearâ
Girlsâ vows to lovers might as well be scribbled
In rushing rivers and in windy air.
75...
Now my mindâs been brought to such a state, and itâs your fault-
Lesbia!- Been so skewed, devoted so to you,
I could not like you again if you turned truest of women,
Nor fall out of love for all the worst youâd do.
85..
I hate the girl I love. You ask how I know or can?
I donât know. I just feel. Ask any tortured man.
CV. To Richard, A Critic
Once little Dick tried climbing up
The Mountain of the Muses
Head first they grabbed him, and with spears
They jerked him off their mountain
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.9
Weighted score: 6.45
Overall Rank: 731
Posted: May 3, 2004 3:27 PM PDT; Last modified: May 10, 2004 9:06 PM PDT
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