poemranker ::Godproof Hat by Dovina

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Limerick № 143518

Godproof Hat

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 21 May 2006 · 8 comments

Oh, for a hand on my cranial hair In place of god’s that isn’t there To protect from theistic wrath and such Provide a gentle protective touch Perhaps a godlike Buddhistic affair I used to think God was very large cat With teeth in my neck like I were a rat Then he kicked me outside Where I hollered and cried Now I wear a cat-skin hat

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8 comments

[9] Sunny 21-May-06/6:14 PM Reply
Well done limerick. I think the Buddhiistic choice is a bit of a confusion, to me at least, not speculating you are speaking of Christianity at all due to the low caps, but I still don't know where it came from.
I loved the second stanza due to your raw imagery, but I have to say (and I am fully aware you are you might very well be more wise than I in this poetic world, but...) I don't think this well done poem should be composed as a limerick. Free verse. Limericks are for the jolly's. That is not the tone I got from this, just my opinion.

Overall, very impressive. Powerful.

~Sunny
[n/a] Dovina › Sunny 23-May-06/10:39 AM Reply
Buddahism is a godproof hat, or tries to be, because it stands in for religion, relieving its followers from the almighty.
[8] wilco 22-May-06/8:24 PM Reply
I wish I had a God-proof hat. I always feel like He's watching me. Nice limerick.

On an unrelated topic, I'm ure glad I came back in time to see the return of Rockmage.
[8] ALChemy 22-May-06/10:11 PM Reply
The last stanza reminds me of the closing animation of every Flintstone episode.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 23-May-06/10:36 AM Reply
The last stanza reminds me of a conversation between a forest ranger, a maker of gold, and a love-torn woman seeking shelter from the ravages of persistant atheism fighting in some netherworld against the forces of an almighty.
[8] ALChemy › Dovina 23-May-06/12:08 PM Reply
Somewhere in that old endless stretch of comments is a Flintstones reference (To God'swife I think) that I thought was quite clever and apperently no one else did.
[8] Niphredil 23-May-06/2:26 AM Reply
Um, sorry, but this ain't a limerick. At least, the first stanza isn't. Alhough the rhyming scheme matches (aabba), limericks have very well-defined meter (three stressed syllables in lines 1,2,5 and two in lines 3,4) and this doesn't really fit the bill. Because of the differences in meter (and language, too, come to think of it), the second stanza appears quite unrelated to the first.

Having said that, it's a funny, amusing piece of work... I especially liked the first stanza.
[7] amanda_dcosta 29-May-06/5:21 AM Reply
Dovina, Frankly, this reminds me to a similar piece posted on poemranker before. I don't know if it's yours or if its an edit of a previous piece, but it looks too familiar. It has an amusing tone to it, but not too impressive.