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The Flawed Inventor (Free verse) by Caducus
I invented a pedestal it was a flawed design for she always fell landing as a mannequin. Then I dressed her how I wanted through two brown windows she saw her suitor and fell again, breaking in two. So I fixed her with my hands re-inventing her, I changed her face moulding her, to suit my dream. I invented another pedestal it was the perfect design, yet somehow she fell landing as a woman who left me still as a mannequin that left two brown windows open.

Up the ladder: Soured
Down the ladder: Pointless

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.905148
Overall Rank: 9733
Posted: May 25, 2006 1:35 AM PDT; Last modified: May 25, 2006 1:35 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Sunny @ 66.69.36.222 | 25-May-06/10:58 PM | Reply
Interesting lesson you learned & took note to...A few notes I wanted to point out:
-L4S4: Very smart when looking at the aftermath in this 'story'
-L2S2: I recognize the "brown" of "brown windows" is repeated in the last stanza, but I don't understand the signifigant meaning behind the use of brown???

-Sunny

[n/a] Caducus @ 86.141.200.125 > Sunny | 26-May-06/1:30 AM | Reply
brown windows are the eyes of the inventor.
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