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A Simple Band of Metal (Free verse) by TLRufener A simple band of metal,
With a less than precious stone,
Rests along side my heart;
The place you now call home;
It signifies a promise made
Under the sound of falling rain,
A vow made without words
Letting us know our lives had changed.
Two strangers who met in a crowded restaurant
Have grown to silent dreams in the stars.
Yours has become mine, mine has become yours,
And yours and mine have become ours.
A simple band of metal
Changed the whole tone of you and me;
An unsaid vow of love
Glittering for everyone to see.
Speaking a silent message
That rings clear and ever true;
Whispered silver and sparkling:
I will always love you.
Up the ladder:
the sweet smell of death
Down the ladder:
for one day only
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Posted: May 1, 2005 12:08 PM PDT; Last modified: May 2, 2005 3:45 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.905148 Overall Rank: 9771 Comments:
[9]
Dovina @ 204.250.12.246
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1-May-05/4:36 PM
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Reply
"A vow without words" seems a more sentimental title. I'd like to see the "ever" taken out of "clear and ever true" and "laways" from "I will always love you" because the present night is good - why complicated it. And please make "your" yours in "And your and mine have become ours." The ambiguity of "less than precious stone" makes it all the more appealing.
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