poemranker ::Descendent by MacFrantic

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Free verse № 143544

Descendent

by MacFrantic

Member since 2003 · Posted 21 May 2006 · 5 comments

Great gothic goddess birthed me. I am living terror, see. My gnashing quarrel bloodies the streets. I find joy in manic feats. For whatever end that fits my rage Hellspawn I engage. Eyes are those blackened eyes exchanged. These mouths, strange. Whatever damning, faraway curse I endure. Comes in sunlight's pure. Willing me to spell fate is my undoing A catastrophe brewing. I'll be sent oh so rapidly beneath. I'll cut my teeth. Awaiting the eternity of future sorrow. Apocalypse on the morrow.

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5 comments

[7] wilco 22-May-06/8:26 PM Reply
Damn, that's a lot of rhyming...I hate that, but I guess I like it well enough for the words themselves.
[4] LilMsLadyPoet 24-May-06/4:51 PM Reply
The periods/punctuation needs work. (need one after endure?)etc.
You get spurts of rythm going, then lose it.
drop 'the' @ streets...that line's a tongue twister.
willing me to spell...?to cast spells?, and fate is my undoing? is that what is meant there? all as one sentence it doesn't make sense. I can see this written on a subway wall somewhere...
[1] Edna Sweetlove 25-May-06/8:23 AM Reply
Do you by any chance mean "descendant" ???

The poem's not much good either.
[n/a] MacFrantic › Edna Sweetlove 25-May-06/10:50 AM Reply
"descendent" has double meaning. It signifies movement downward as well as the relation to ancestors. "descendant" only relates to ancestry.

Also, I was just very lazy with the punctuation. I don't even know why I bothered.

I'm glad you were displeased by the quality of this poem.
It wasn't written to your liking (thank god).
[8] Ranger 1-Jun-06/10:01 AM Reply
If it's any consolation, I got the play in the title. I'd have preferred it if the second line in every couplet hadn't been so brief - very jarring as it is, and line 2 - 'see' was far too colloquial for the child of a goddess. Still, it has an immensely apocalyptic feel to it.