Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Descendent (Free verse) by MacFrantic
Great gothic goddess birthed me. I am living terror, see. My gnashing quarrel bloodies the streets. I find joy in manic feats. For whatever end that fits my rage Hellspawn I engage. Eyes are those blackened eyes exchanged. These mouths, strange. Whatever damning, faraway curse I endure. Comes in sunlight's pure. Willing me to spell fate is my undoing A catastrophe brewing. I'll be sent oh so rapidly beneath. I'll cut my teeth. Awaiting the eternity of future sorrow. Apocalypse on the morrow.

Up the ladder: Good-Bye
Down the ladder: The Wake of Your Memory

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7624
Posted: May 21, 2006 11:39 PM PDT; Last modified: May 21, 2006 11:39 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 22-May-06/8:26 PM | Reply
Damn, that's a lot of rhyming...I hate that, but I guess I like it well enough for the words themselves.
[4] LilMsLadyPoet @ 64.12.116.14 | 24-May-06/4:51 PM | Reply
The periods/punctuation needs work. (need one after endure?)etc.
You get spurts of rythm going, then lose it.
drop 'the' @ streets...that line's a tongue twister.
willing me to spell...?to cast spells?, and fate is my undoing? is that what is meant there? all as one sentence it doesn't make sense. I can see this written on a subway wall somewhere...
[1] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.179.231.241 | 25-May-06/8:23 AM | Reply
Do you by any chance mean "descendant" ???

The poem's not much good either.
[n/a] MacFrantic @ 63.18.107.70 > Edna Sweetlove | 25-May-06/10:50 AM | Reply
"descendent" has double meaning. It signifies movement downward as well as the relation to ancestors. "descendant" only relates to ancestry.

Also, I was just very lazy with the punctuation. I don't even know why I bothered.

I'm glad you were displeased by the quality of this poem.
It wasn't written to your liking (thank god).
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 1-Jun-06/10:01 AM | Reply
If it's any consolation, I got the play in the title. I'd have preferred it if the second line in every couplet hadn't been so brief - very jarring as it is, and line 2 - 'see' was far too colloquial for the child of a goddess. Still, it has an immensely apocalyptic feel to it.
198 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001