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Happy Charlene (Free verse) by Dovina Sensuous fluffy clouds
wrap the earth in soft embrace
where birds sing for joy
and all things produce good
The earth is a white padded room
where all injustice falls before her
And any gloom will soon aright
She loves it soâ
a world devoid of hope
for good is already accomplished
beautiful and purely white
Up the ladder:
Fair Warning
Down the ladder:
Knives
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: July 11, 2005 3:38 PM PDT; Last modified: July 11, 2005 3:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7616 Comments:
After reading the first line, I though 'ugh'. Not a good start, almost made me run.
I am glad I didn't because the rest is clever and serrated. I wanna be sedated.
I donât how itâs serrated, but sedated â alright. Thatâs what booze and drugs are about, and mind trips like Charleneâs.
Tell me why the clouds are "sensuous" without the word "fluffy" (which conjures kittens and toilet tissue). Maybe this is a free-form ode to a friend, or you read my brother's 1985 diary when he had a Charlene Tilton obsession? Either way, I want to meet her. She sounds awesome.
I think she's misled, but happy, so why does it matter?
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a good read.
since I got it wrong.
back I don't know what I saw.
I still like it.