Tintagiles
on Fear by Phalkon
20 May 2004, 7:00 PM
Heavens. The intellectual and literary ninnyness makes the mind reel.
Gadzooks. Beyond commentary.
Zounds. Up a bottle of wine. No wonder you feel like you're going to fall down the staircase.
Tintagiles
on I cannot take this shit(please comment and critique) by TrulyUnique0642
20 May 2004, 7:04 PM
Let me assure you that it is much kinder if I neither comment nor critique.
'Sblood. 'Tis terrible.
I've broken the nudity record.
Plucky
Saha's so cool
Sponge, yes, brilliant... 2.
This is a work in progress-but I wanted some feedback, thanks!
Beautiful title. I like the intrigue of the piece, although i dont like the usage of the 3rd stanza in union with the Glosa theme. But the overall structure and concept works pretty nicely, given the difficulty. Also it seemed to putter out due 2 maybe trying 2 hard towards the end, its too predictable. I think it needs a surprising climax, given that the reader( if they know the style ) knows what line will conclude. You did a great job of elaborating the founding peice and throwing a creepy twist in while you were at it. Kudos
_Da1
Ohhh. K. Obsess much?
Hm...reminds me of "Ten Things I Hate About You"
Good idea, however, I'm not much on free verse unless it has a rhythm to it...that would be my advice.
-SKoP
DISGUSTINGLY DELICIOUS!
Captivating and satisfying. You get a gold star for today.
Unique
Very representative. I can relate and am entranced with the approach of this peice. Nicely done, although the repetition may be a bit much. Any how it suffices.
_Da1
Special
Are you still together? Or is that an appropriate question? I would cahnge "Our bodies fit that day--We fit", maybe, " Our bodies, we fit on that day. Other than that its cool.
Funny