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I cannot take this shit(please comment and critique) (Other) by TrulyUnique0642
You kiss me with your eyes shut tight, But isn't that how you kissed the others? I might just die from this pain in my heart. If only there was reason to start to hate you, I do, but really I don't. You won't stop, You won't quit, How much longer must I deal with this shit? Would you please stop calling? No one's around, I need you. So don't stop picking up that phone, I need you alone. Just keep me posted on who you're fuckin, Because I might just want to hunt them down one day, And see what they havn't that I don't. I can't stop, I don't need you, You're nothing - you're not worth it. Although I need to cry, My eyes are dry. I cannot take this shit - I quit. Let me be lonely if I must.

Up the ladder: im going
Down the ladder: Sagadahoc to Hudson

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.857143
Weighted score: 4.96158
Overall Rank: 8524
Posted: March 8, 2003 6:23 PM PST; Last modified: March 8, 2003 6:23 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 8-Mar-03/7:33 PM | Reply
Hehehe. This seems to be a story that repeats itself in adolescence...Get laid.
well actually here go off on rage it might help
Get bent
Eat Shit
Fuck off
Go rot
[0] razorgrin @ 198.164.188.66 | 8-Mar-03/7:37 PM | Reply
hey, you know what they have that you don't? An IQ over room temperature and a functioning set of genitals.
[6] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 8-Mar-03/8:49 PM | Reply
getting better. this one has a bit o'snap. but it's still awfully familiar.

-bill z aka mr nice guy
[10] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 9-Mar-03/9:15 AM | Reply
Hey look I liked it and gave it the 10. I was mearly saying that pain is not as great when you live in anger. Anger leaves less room for pain.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 > Freethinker1602 | 9-Mar-03/12:38 PM | Reply
What!?
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 9-Mar-03/10:39 AM | Reply
Yeah... With my foot on the back of your head I say I....L, hate your fucking guts, through love i mean. That's when i motion to the waitor for the check. I've rented soft porn better then this.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.7.131.4 | 9-Mar-03/12:40 PM | Reply
Too simplistic to get anywhere on this site-revise it and be a bit more creative with your vocab. Also decide whether you want to rhyme it or not because this just doesn't flow. That being said, I like the line "Just keep me posted on who you're fucking"...not heard that one before. Oh, and please change the title.
There we go, there's a comment with critique, hope it was of some use. Let me know when you've edited this and I'll have amother look. Good Evening to you all.
[n/a] Tintagiles @ 142.166.250.141 | 20-May-04/7:04 PM | Reply
Let me assure you that it is much kinder if I neither comment nor critique.
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