Stephen Robins
on Focus by Signature
21 May 2004, 7:53 AM
This poem is a pool of rancid flange juice left on the seat of a sunshine bus by an elderly citizen.
Shuperb. Really shuperb.
By the way, I've just taken delivery of a case of this: http://tinyurl.com/2anck
It's very reasonably priced for such an excellent wine. I suggest you order a case or two yourself.
Yet more splendid poetry?
-1-
I would add a,'still' after "is" in the 2nd to last line and then make it the last line. But well done
eh. I thik you did some wrong things in here on purpose, but its popular; generated lots of interest and votes - so 3 points for that.
Nicholas Jones
on The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
21 May 2004, 4:25 AM
Have you been watching Cavanagh QC?
The worst thing about this poem isn't that it's about religion. It's that you're either A) the world's biggest failure for allowing yourself to remain "reprobate" when you know how you should act/believe to be saved, or B) the world's biggest failure for presuming to know what reprobates think when you are not, in fact, one of them.
If A) better describes you, why don't you just take control of your life, you ninny? If B) is closer to the truth (and I'll bet it is) why don't you write about something you actually know instead of casting your exceedingly self-righteous presumptions around like swollen buttocks? As it happens, I'm probably utterly reprobate, and yet my life isn't anything like this. In fact, every reprobate I know isn't like that. In any event, in your current form, you fail.
Still shit.
O.K, time for my input. Give a little more volume to the poem, fill it up so the rhyme scheme doesn't sound forced to the magus. Good Idea for a poem tho.
I side with zodiac. Although I'm not known for understandable poetry, this is beyond even me.
Yes, between sexy and simple there lies a fine line. Yet this peice may not cut the mustard. C for effort.
A man after my own heart. Keep it grity.
Hard for my limited mind to follow. But I think I like what it says about a child's soul.(Personal interpretation)
not too bad.
Another diaper-full of the best you can do.
And you spelled "color" wrong, again.
Does it ever get old being a bargain-basement
-=Dark_Angel=-?
All your opinions are wrong, you colossal dunce. Thanks, -10-
it's a 10