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Catharsis (Triolet) by wilco Three flights of stairs and a bottle of wine
upwards into her apartment.
Walking with fingers intertwined
up three flights of stairs and a bottle of wine.
Her eyes are beaming, I'm closing mine
and contemplating a swift descent.
Three flights of stairs and a bottle of wine
upwards into her apartment.
Up the ladder:
Thoughts Asunder
Down the ladder:
Disaster in Disguise
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.357143
Posted: May 20, 2004 6:24 PM PDT; Last modified: May 20, 2004 7:25 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.7232094 Overall Rank: 485 Comments:
[n/a]
Tintagiles @ 142.166.250.141
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20-May-04/7:02 PM
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Reply
Zounds. Up a bottle of wine. No wonder you feel like you're going to fall down the staircase.
I've broken the nudity record.
congratulations!
Yep, thats a good one; good use of the form.
Consider replacing "Walking", it's implied and the space could be better used to express the mood. the wine/mine rhyme, btw is a good coupling and the long "i" sounds work well. when you say "contemplating a swift descent" are you implying she will go down [on you] quickly (or vice versa), or are you saying something will be leaving soon and quickly?
I'm thinking the last "upwards" slot could be better used as well.
The way I understand it, the last line must be identical to the second line, which I why it is what it is.
YEP - I'm an idiot that's why i didn't say it in the first comment...
interpretation is ever'ting, my good man.
agreed
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