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Suicide of the Ego (Free verse) by Drifting Shadow Every day of the life you have walked,
Has lead you to this step of steps,
To step into the abyss,
The abyss of nothing.
It looks dark in there,
It looks light out here,
but it is as it is,
and it is the same.
For the years of fear and pain,
Hanging on by your fingernails,
Thinking, wanting, tryingâ¦
To die.
When all along you knew you couldnât.
Who would of thought?
That now you have seen your worth,
Now you have seen your potential,
And you have decided to live,
That the only way to do that is death,
Not for your body,
Kill your ego,
See nothing,
But truly see it.
Be nobody,
And grow again what did not wither.
You fear what you will see,
When you step into the abyss.
You fear what you will see,
When you step out of the abyss.
But that fear has been outgrown,
By the fear of the world you created.
Up the ladder:
Nocturnal Emissions
Down the ladder:
For my unborn
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8333335
Posted: May 26, 2004 3:05 AM PDT; Last modified: May 26, 2004 3:05 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.2241178 Overall Rank: 4313 Comments:
[n/a]
edpeterson @ 68.20.5.229
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26-May-04/5:47 AM
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Reply
ugh...
This should be a penis monologue.
Wouldn't this make MORE sense if you were saying this to your lap?m I think so, yes, I do.
good idea, mfffff mffffff mffffff mfffffff....quite enjoyable, thankyou horus, you opened up a whole new world for me
If you aren't able to understand this piece, then why bother commenting on it? Does it please your egoâs to think that you got it all sussed out and I havenât?
Itâs all right there in the poem, you fear to look deep within yourselves because you donât know what you will find. You fear nothing â literally. You fear being nothing, you fear having stillness and peace in your mind, youâre probably all sitting there now thinking about some crap like you been through such a hard and cruel life that you poor little minds can't find peace within them, have a nice time feeling sorry for yourselves, losers. Another thing.... see any anger in these words? You probably think you do, thatâs the reflection of your own anger youâre seeing, not mine. When youâre old and wise enough, you will know what these words mean.
LOLTTM!!!!
Oh dear!
*wipes tears* You have got all our numbers, haven't you? Well, check out this hook, homesketch: No one has said anything about not being able to understand this "piece," dig? There is, in fact, nothing in this poem to understand or not understand; it's a soggy catalogue of useless phrases used exceptionally poorly. You have, in fact, no idea how the various cliche-o-mat-produced lines of this so-called poem fit together at all, and truth be told, they simply don't. One moment you have your character walking "every day" to the edge of the abyss, the next you have him stepping into it, and the next hanging on by his fingernails. Now, bearing in mind that he's supposed to be doing this EVERY DAY, please answer the following question to the best of your ability: Tomorrow, this poem's central character will be A) Walking to an abyss, B) Stepping into an abyss, C) Hanging by his fingernails above an abyss. Or D) "Trying... to die", presumably by plunging himself into the abyss (which would be easier if he weren't hanging so hard onto the edge. PS-Your comment is an utter joke. "youâre probably all sitting there now thinking about some crap like you been through such a hard and cruel life that you poor little minds can't find peace within them" is the best part. PPS-Your response to this is also bound to be an utter joke. My vote is that it will be the "look beneath the words, don't be so literal" breed of indignant reply, at which point you will have failed before you even started.
Ace Kwai Chang Caine impersonation, though! When you're old and wise enough, you'll see it's more about how many times a week you can get laid, and how many people know about it, than any kind of inner peace. Tchuss.
And hey, here's a suggestion: before blundering on into the abyss of more uninformed conclusions about everybody here, why don't you take a gander at some of their poems? Mine can be accessed by clicking my username at the top of this box. Hey, that would be great! Thanks!
rofl i really got you running the circles aint i zodiac? i like games wanna play some more?
oops what a petty my covers blown?
see you aint got a clue because you think in balck and white, and you think too much because you dont trust your own judgement.... and if you do trust it.... fuck me you shouldnt if your response is anything to go by, the one thing with me is... i got the brains and self honesty to understand that i do not know anything at all and neither does anyone else, they just think they do...whereas you and your ego think you know so much..whereas you know nothing also but are to pathetic and afraid to admit it to yourself....keep it coming.... because as long as you do... i'll keep coming back and laughing at you...
i got a can of worms and i like fishing
1) "see you aint got a clue because you think in balck [sic] and white" means nothing to me. I happen to think the basis of all "clues" is perceiving things as clearly as possible. Who wouldn't? Oh. You. Well, if you want to argue some anti-intellectual nonsense, by all means go ahead, but I should point out to you that you're the one who already looks half-gay and incapable of spelling such a simple word as black.
2) "you think too much because you dont trust your own judgement" - ibid. And does that even begin to make sense? No. How the hell else would I arrive at judgments other than by thinking them? Wait - maybe if I just took the judgments of others, such as Jesuses or fictional shaolin monks? But no, that would be the height of not trusting my own judgment. 3) To say "I don't know anything at all and neither does anyone else" is bosh to the max. Of course I know simple things, such as my address and how to tie my shoes (at least, by the third attempt.) One of the things I know with a reasonable degree of certainty is what a crap poem looks like, having written literally hundreds of them myself and read thousands on poemranker (while you, let's be clear, haven't read any.) 5) Stop worrying about whether you can "keep coming back and laughing at me," and start confabulating some way to make a lick of sense and not look like some kind of, I don't know, irrationally laughing guy. 6) Great.
You are roughly the fifth person on this site to claim to have me "running in circles," "up against a wall," "bent over with my pants down," or some other such groundless boast. The first four are currently wailing and gnashing their teeth in my own specially-constructed "outer darkness," by which I mean poetry dot com. So, sure I'd like to play, but you have to first learn the rules.
RULE #1: Always format your comments in numbered lists. Otherwise we won't know who's winning. RULE #2: If, say, I make a point, your comment should answer that point in the precisest possible terms. None of this galloping off wildly with your breeches half-breeched. For both our conveniences' sake, the points shall take the form of numbered lists. COROLLARY #1 TO RULE #2: This means when I suggest you take a look at the poems and other whatnot posted by the people you're making flolloping assumptions about, you might seriously consider doing so. Failure to respond to existing points or to introduce new points in a reasonable manner will result in the addition of one GAY POINT to your GAYNESS QUOTIENT for each infraction. RULE #3: You're a cod. That is all.
RULE #4: Please make an effort to spell/grammatize correctly. Quaint as it seems, I find language to be the only thing that makes everything mean anything. If you're going to continue to write in misspelled pidgen gobbledygook, I'll get huffy and go home.
1- in case you didn't notice I post as black fog, you seem to be clutching such irrelevant details as obvious typing errors... and even if I cant spell, what does that matter? I look half gay? Do I really? Oh please you might hurt my feelings.
If your precious intellectual world brought you to the conclusion that you can even come close to getting me even a little bit angry by posting irrelevant homophobic slurs then you can just shove your intellect up your ass... looks to me that you already did that though. 2- accurate judgement comes from clarity of mind, which comes from a peaceful mind, which comes from not cluttering your mind up with a load of analytical bollocks like you seem to have done. So whatâs with the Jesus rant? I never mentioned anything about religion, got some issues have we zodiac? 3- just because the chemicals in your brain perceive the world around you a certain way does not mean it is necessarily so, are you really so blind that you donât see that? How do you know we're not all trapped in some one else dream and none of this is real? Youâll probably just say that is an impossibility, but thatâs just fear of letting go of all you think you know. As for knowing what a crap poem looks like, who can really say? It all depends on the taste of the person thatâs reading it, to say that you "know" what a crap poem looks like is just total self-righteous egotistical bullshit if you ask me. And your over analytical tendencies - they are exactly the reason why you came her to whine about this poem and me... because you havenât got a hope in hell of understanding me or the poem, because of your trapped mind. 4- I aint worried in the slightest if you keep coming back or not... even though I donât know anything, I could see you would be, it's you that told me you'd be back, I could see it a mile off, just like I know that you will probably think you know that I am insane when I tell you I am psychic, and aside from being psychic, I am manipulating you right now. You probably havenât got a clue what the word psychic implies beyond dictionary definition and label that it is.
5- If I am the fifth person to claim to have you running in circles on this site then maybe it's about time you took a good long look at yourself?
6- Ok although I usually prefer chaos to order, yes I will abide by the rules that you lay down for the time being to give you an illusion of fair chance. And by the way, I find it highly amusing that you said, "Otherwise we wont know who's winning" when my point is that nobody knows anything. 7- âin the precisest possible termsâ? Wouldnât it be more grammatically correct to say âin the most precise terms possibleâ? not that i give a fuck but if you want to play by those rules shouldn't you first be sure that you can abide by them yourself? These "precisest possible terms" might exist in your world but not in mine, I will try and be as clear as possible, but I cant guarantee anything, I do get accused of talking in riddles at times, and I never realise Iâm doing it... just because you donât understand something doesn't mean that it is bullshit. And understanding is a lot different than the illusion of knowing 8- It really does look like you have issues with your sexuality. 9- No, seriously, it does. 10- Why is it that you need for a point scoring system for this? Is it because you know you donât have even a slight chance at this, so you put your own rules and points system on it? 11- I still like fishing, and my can of worms is endless. 12- As impossible to comprehend as it may seem to your closed in mind, which i might add has been mercilessly conditioned by society without you realising it... words are not understanding. Words are labels, sometimes one sentence can have several meanings (if you've ever had the intellect to spot that) if words are the only things that make anything mean anything in your world, I feel so sorry for you. Youâre free to go home whenever you like, I aint stopping you. Or am I? 13- Believe it or not, you could learn something from this conversation, and so will I... its all a matter of choice, there are lessons. 14- You accuse me of galloping of wildly, what's the matter, cant you keep up with me? maybe because you're to stuck and thinking out and measuring your responses, whereas i just let mine flow.
And by the way... if you find inner peace, you can get laid as often as you want, because your mind is free and you can be anybody you want to be, and manipulating people becomes so easy... if one is so inclined.
And I donât think for a second that you have ever managed to get yourself laid, unless the issues you have regarding religion and your sexuality are something to do with a nasty experience involving your local priest when you were younger? i am educated in psychology, maybe you need to talk to someone about it?
as for the meaning behind the poem, a lot of it's right here in front of you
1- http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
2- http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j 3- http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j 4- No. 5- Did you miss the part about how those four people are now in the Poemranker Embarassment Hall of Fame? 6- If you don't believe in order, then how can you believe in any kind of real argument? Oh, I see, you mean we should just take turns knocking our heads against entirely separate walls. 7- Nope. 8- This has been suggested here before. 9- Nope. And I'm married, while you're a fake-o ponytailed wanna-be guru failing to pick up trashy illiterate women with patently-fake cock-and-bull like "I'm educated in psychology." 10- Because this "conversation" is already nine-tenths of the way to complete pointlessness as it is. By the time I finish this comment, I have no doubt, it will be all the way there. 11- Great. You've still added nothing new to anything. 12- I'm all for ya, kid. http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j 13- Bow'ls. 14- Jesus.
1. What is the point to the links? I aint even interested in reading them, you donât really think Iâm going to waste my time with that do you?
...Embarrass me? Errrrm, how do you intend on doing that when I really donât care what you or anyone else thinks? Looks like someoneâs getting a little bit cranky here. 2- did you miss the part where I said that I am manipulating you? Did you not understand what I meant in saying that I like mind games? Are you not aware of how I have manipulated you? I have led you into this pointless conversation, and you are fully aware that it means nothing, yet you keep biting, like I said, I have a can of worms and I like fishing, thatâs what's happening here, and oh look, I caught myself a little tiddler, you are to easy. Keep biting, and Iâll keep leading you. Go away like a good little dog, and Iâll leave you alone. 2- so who belongs in any hall of embarrassment? Me? Or you? I am just putting on an act, fucking you around and laughing at you, this is far from being the real me you are talking too, so what does the hall of embarrassment mean to me? I had my fun and led you for a while, so maybe it is you who belongs there? My pretty little fish. 3- order and chaos, their is no order just areas of less chaos where painfully boring people like you try to make sense out of things that people like me donât have to make sense of to understand. 4-just like you donât believe that I am educated in psychology, why should I believe that you are married, smells like bullshit to me, coz you have got issues with your sexuality and that is obvious. So where was the point in telling me that you are married? See, you are also bringing nothing to this conversation. What brought you to the conclusion that I want to be a guru? Or that I have a ponytail? Lol there, you see, your bringing as much nothing to this as I bring to it, except Iâm the one laughing...and I know this is getting to you no matter what you try to say. And that is the whole point to this game... you piss n moan and follow my lead, I laugh at you. And you thought that you dictated the rules to me. 5- If I wanted to, I could actually be sensible and nice and tell you what the relevance of the poem was, but I donât want to, Iâd rather play my game a bit longer, maybe later I will type up an explanation for it.
6- what did I say about nobody really knowing anything? And where has this conversation gone?
7- Are you having as much fun as I am? You said yourself, and I quote "you mean we should just take turns knocking our heads against entirely separate walls" so you are knocking your head against a wall then? I know you are, and Iâm making you do it while I sit back and laugh. Aint I a bastard? Ready to look in that mirror yet? 8-what I really find amusing is, that you now realise that you are embarrassing yourself and no one else, coz you are starting to see my game, if you cant see it yet, you must be stupid, and it is a game I can't lose, neither can you though, unless you allow yourself too, like I said, you could learn something from this and it is right here staring you in the face. Manipulation/mind control...see and understand the conditioning of society, and use it to your advantage. Not that I care or anything but donât feel to bad that Iâve fucked you around, it's nothing personal, I do it to lots of people in many ways... you wouldnât believe how easy most people are. You especially, I told you it was manipulation and a game and I knew that you'd still bite even though I told you what I am doing. So go on, now try to insult me and tell me that you are now leaving our cosy little conversation. Or have I now put you off the idea of doing that because you would rather prove me wrong? I cant wait to see your next move...carry on and I will continue to lead you into nothing... insult me and go -you prove me right... leave the conversation taking nothing from it -when I said nobody really knows anything, so if you do that it still kind of proves me right doesnât it? Or maybe you will try to confuse me with some kind of irrelevancy, in which case still proves my point of knowing nothing to be accurate. What I am saying to you here is not knowing, not thinking or analysing, it is clarity being used against you in a game. You still havenât proven to me that you or I know anything. And whatever way you look at this, you came and you took nothing, I led you and I laughed at you. I donât dislike you, lol which I am sure you will be charmed to know, it doesnât matter one little bit to me what you think, so go ahead and hate me, dislike me, or laugh with me, that is your choice. Now, ask yourself, do you hate me? Or are you laughing with me? Or maybe you will pretend like none of this has gotten to you to try and save you from feeling too embarrassed? Or maybe you arenât as egotistical as you seem and you will laugh with me? Your choice little fishey.
p.s: you spelt embarrassment wrong, cant you even stick to your own rules? where is the order in that? it is a word that you of all people should know how to spell
p.p.s: there is no such word as "precisest", ignoramus.
p.p.p.s: What's with your huge aversion to reading someone else's poems? Have you mistaken this site for some horrific, imaginary blackfog'spoemranker.com?
Well, let me tell you something, mister: even the most rampaging egotist on this site (i.e., horus8) spends a couple of minutes every day looking at, voting, and commenting on other users' poetry. After all, that's what this site is about - though you, who've in your year on poemranker commented on exactly two poems which weren't your own and voted on something like thirty, seemed to have missed that memo. Or, perhaps, you're simply one of the fifty people who come here each week, post their four-poem limit, read five poems and post useless laudatory comments on the four that are exactly like their own, get bored (because let's face it, poems that are exactly like your own are pretty boring when they're not your own,) and vanish after a few days - leaving some plummy rant about how poemranker's no good for getting honest, constructive criticism and dooming succeeding generations of poemranker users to pick through your soggy aftermath (in the form of periodic randoms) forever. By which I mean, someone who's full to brimming of his own plummy self. Now, please, hurry out of here again with this 'buddha-like, I've disintegrated my ego' bullshit. You're bound to anyway, and I'm bored to death already by your babble. black fog: This must mean I won. zodiac: Whatever gets you off. black fog: Ha-ha! I'm the winner! Look, everyone! He conceded! I won this stirring intellectual debate! He knew he couldn't face my insinuations of sexual disfunction and subtle arts of manipulation which, like the great Kwai Chang Kane himself, I deploy effortlessly and beguilingly. Everyone: Bugger the fuck off. p.p.p.p.s. Who's fooled whom? I'm a chimp trained to approximate human typing.
1) Once again, and Iâll say it nice and loud for you
I HAVE A CAN OF WORMS AND I LIKE FISHING 2) Oh my poor little fish, you really donât see whatâs happening here do you? I have now told you several times that I am manipulating you and leading you, playing mind games on you, and still you keep biting, the paradox here is that it is your stupidity that may well bring you understanding because the more you bite the more I am going to lead you. If you stop trying to use the superficial humour as a shield, you might actually get a lesson. 3) See fishy, here we have the tragedy of ego, you know your being led into this, and are probably aware that you're making a complete tit of yourself in doing so, but your ego will not allow you even to back of from a subject revolving around nothing for fear of admitting that you cannot win this and you brag to everyone saying you have won this, when if you hade any wit about you at all, before you took the bait you would of known that you cant win this. 3) Zodiac my little fishy-bitch... some of us have lives to attend to other than trying to prove some sort of point over the internet to a load of people that you probably donât even really know at all...but I do apologise for the delay, I was busy, y'know, going outside and living? You should try it sometime. I now see something else in you... as well as the issues you have about your sexuality you also seem to have some sort of inferiority complex. 4) What the fuck has Buddha got to do with this? Other than he looks like your mother. 5) Do you really think I give a fuck what you think about who I am, I have more than 2 identities on this site, you see fishy, it's just like I been saying all along -you know nothing, just like I know it, the fact that you believe and accept what you see in front of you as the truth tells me you are one seriously gullible fuck-wit...as well as the fact that after me telling you I am manipulating you into doing this how many times now? And still you come back because youâd rather waste your own time getting your minuscule limp little prick twisted in knots than just to simply go away...because you are so scared that it will look to everyone like you have lost, when you are in fact if "winning" was your quest here, you had already lost as soon as you bit back to my first reply.
6) And I think now, would be a good time once again to say, loud and clear "I GOT A CAN OF WORMS AND I LIKE FISHING"
7) Each time you return you look like an even greater ass than before, I laugh at you then drop some more bait, so I will be entertained next time I come on here, in fact, fuck it, I need not write, read, comment or vote on this site ever under any of my names because you just might be stupid and egotistical enough to keep biting every time I leave the bait for you. 8)You call horus a rampaging egotist, maybe he is, but notice how he didn't bite? Because he's not stupid and gullible like you are, because in this type of conversation, you can only be either led round in circles... or made a fool out of. 9) No, it wouldnât surprise me if you were a chimp, and a badly trained one at that, was that supposed to throw me? Your pathetic lol 10) Now you have completely abandoned your own petty rules that I allowed you to impose on me, and even though I am still following them still I am leading you and sitting back watching you...you look and seem and probably like a turd stuck on a U bendâ¦explain why?
p.s- you spelt dysfunction wrong
tell me zodiac, i am struggling to understand something.... why did i get the following in my email but didnt see it when i came here?
From : poemranker <support@poemranker.com> Sent : 30 May 2004 12:46:59 To : ************************ Subject : [poemranker] Reply to your comment on Suicide of the Ego | | | Inbox User zodiac replied to your Poemranker comment on "Suicide of the Ego" in which you said: > p.s- you spelt dysfunction wrong Their reply was: No, you did. Look again. You can view "Suicide of the Ego" and its comments here: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i - poemranker.com maybe because you think you got it right... but then you did look and saw you weren't right?.... repeat this pattern in every area of your life, if you dare to see how much of it you have fucked up with your self righteous attitude. and then you will start getting it. see what i mean, you dont have the balls or the brains to be able to understand the poem. and that sounds self righteous... but the difference here is, i am right... i am trying to show you something...and you are so fare up your own ass that you wont allow yourself to admit that someone has got things sussed out just a little bit better than you have... you could be so much more than what you allow yourself to be. and if you have read the reply to the gay marriage haiku, and were capable of being honest with yourself, you would see that. the reason i have been rattling you emotions? to wake a sleeping monkey up, you have to rattle it's cage a bit.
re: "maybe because you think you got it right... but then you did look and saw you weren't right?...."
Nope. Because the misspelled "dysfunction" above was by you. To wit, "black fog: Ha-ha! I'm the winner! etc etc etc disfunction etc etc etc." Then I realized I didn't care, and it would just prompt you to post three more retarded and frankly boring rambles about how much you like fishing. I see I overestimated by one.
nice touch changing your name to anonymous by the way fish
zodiac... do you have yahoo messenger?
...maybe you will find it easier to face yourself and talk without the shields where not everybody can see. yahoo id- dialectic_transgressor whichever way the discussion goes is your choice but no way will i do cyber-sex with you so dont get no ideas. either ranting at one another...or discussing calmly like adults... you will come to the same conclusion about this either way...unless you keep running away.
I've got balls, brains, clits, tits, patience and inner peace. Your poem's still crap.
p.s. Happiness is overrated. p.p.s. You're an asshat.
So now we either have zodiac using another name and posing as a woman or I have reeled myself in another fish,
How do you know that what you donât understand is crap? Maybe it's denial that there is something that you and your brain cannot comprehend? Zodiac, so if I am telling the truth and I am right on how to spell it, then I corrected you coz I knew with your ego that you would have to retort with something⦠or if I lied and I spelt it wrong that was also because I knew you would be backâ¦so you see? Both ways i cast out and you bit once more...point being whatever the spelling I used it as leverage to get you to comment again. a lot of people on this website are so petty about spelling, and what does it matter? Now... about this issue of you running from my questions and still returning here... are you ready to admit you donât have all the answers you think you do? you can go away now zodiac, we have no further interest in you. So go on....tell them that you won...when you could have taken something for your mind from here, so in fact you have lost. lol and you'll probably be floating on and off this page for the next few days to see if i do reply to your next reply, but am i just saying this to bring you back on here or not? I donât win you donât win, I had fun, I hope you did to, but it would be quite funny if I upset you. I wonder if godâs wife wants some questions? And if she would answer them? Unlike zodiac, maybe she has something to bring and may possibly be open minded enough to take something from this? And I promise and not to refer to you as a fish if you be good and answer, and i'll answer yours as sensibly as we can
I don't want anything from you with the exception of a well crafted poem. That's why I'm wasting my time here, asshat, for poetry. This is not philosphyranker.com, nor brainwashingranker.com.. It's poemranker.com, get it?
I've been through rape, murder, betrayal, love, hate poverty etc., I've been alive a long time, I'm not afraid of you or your stupid questions, bring it on asshat. This time you're the fish, I'm the worm. You speak of the obliteration of the ego, but it's all talk. Words are cheap. In the 3 odd years I've drifted in and out of this hole there has only been one other with an ego bigger than yours. You are a shit poet, that's all I know, and all I care to know about you and your soapbox second hand sophistry. You remind of one of those assholes who kidnap young people and claim to de-program them for their fucked-up parents, or you could be a precocious 13 yr. old who thinks he already knows everything. Either way, I don't care, because you are a crap poet. This world is full of self-centered people, and it looks to me like you're just one more on the pile. p.s. I have never been, am not currently, and will never be anyone else but myself, do not be fooled into thinking I might have some other identity, I am genuine. If you read even one of my fucking poems you'd know that, my little pompano.
Hi.
I understand your poem, despite your inability to communicate poetically. The point of art, and especially the written arts is to share experience and knowledge, to make what you've learned accessible. If it were true that 'I do not understand' your discourse, who's fault would that be? But as I said I understand your point. there is nothing that I and my nifty brainsky cannot comprehend.
Godâs wife, hope you feel better after youâre rant.
Ok Iâll cut the brainwashing here...but remember this...anyone who gets brainwashed makes that choice...zodiac made the choice to keep coming back here...I may have thrown a little manipulation in but it is still a choice. And I doubt it brainwashed him anyway, I thought I was pretty easy going on him. You say that I am self centred but I do this stuff out of empathy because like yourself...I really know what it is to suffer, Iâm not going into details of my past but I will say that I been through 3 metal illnesses, drug addiction and alcoholism...can you imagine the sort of crap I went through to drive me to that...and the further crap that it brought into my life? This stuff was the only way out for me, so in a way there is a part of me in the poem. If your brains and feelings are turned to shit through life then what better way to get yourself through it than brainwashing yourself? Thatâs my attitude towards the brainwashing deal, it is not nothing that you get out of it is just the nothing that you find within. Your psychic abilities jump through the roof and you can see so much more than before but before you can do that, you have to accept that you know nothing...and no, I aint some religious nut, I donât follow any religions or cults. I just follow what I find inside myself. And learn. As for being self centred that is exactly what we all are if we are honest...even those who go around helping others...they are only doing it because it feels good to them or makes them feel more righteous than others in some way. A bit like you replying so that you could tell yourself that you are better than me...when I never think that...everyone is equal, so where is the egotism? I offer something to share and learn from others also...where is the egotism? Yes this is poem ranker and people didnât understand my poem...so I tried to show them what I did to myself. You been alive for a long time, but my spirit has been down here for thousands of years I have but 2 lifetimes left down here...attack that if you will but that is also more I found within. Ego isnât the best word to use for what is disintegrated...but the only one close... the trouble with language is that there is so much that words cannot explain. I am not sorry that you been through all you have, as Iâm sure your not sorry about it either.
"And I doubt it brainwashed him anyway"
LOL!!!! Oh, my!
Lol zodiac, what you seem unable to see here is that what I say, and what my intentions are are connected, but two very different things. See how much interest i have generated with nothing here? Just by challenging your ego? And you canât stay away now can you? So who's been manipulated? Forget the words I use here they are nothing but bluffs and double bluffs, and you have bitten on every piece of bait I have put down for you.
Now why is it that you hide behind your sub-standard superficial humour? Your life may seem happy, but it looks quite easy for that to fall apart, because of your lack ability to accept that you aint got things any more sorted than anyone else has... from the sickest inmate sleeping in a padded cell, to the elite of intellectuals...nobody is better than anyone...nobody knows any more or less than anyone else does. when i tell you something about yourself, i do not expect it to be true, nor do i care, i am just leading back here. to reveal a little bit of what i am doing is.... i am experimenting, and guess who the lab rat is.
I wasn't ranting and I do not think I am better than you. I write better poetry, but that's all, well maybe I make a better enchilada, but that's not saying much. Yes we are all self-centered, I agree with you on that. It comes from our millenniums old survival instincts, it's a hard habit to kick. Here, at poemranker, we rate poetry, not egos. All I'm trying to get across to you is that poetry is an art. You seem to have somehow decided, like so many others on this site, artistry is not important in creating poems. When it is, infact, the artistry that defines something as poetry. Whether it's a pudding, a dancer on the stage, or the way your lover touches you.
Let's say someone over time has collected the most beautiful, costly materials known to man. Fine woods, alabaster, marble, etc., and they decide to use these materials to build a house, but they no nothing about how house's are built, and for some reason they refuse to watch others, who know a little something about it, building theirs. What do you think will happen? The subject of a poem is really unimportant, what matters is the design of the poem. There are poems here, good strong poems, about all manner of subjects. What sets the good ones apart is that they are created with skill. It's not thst we don't understand your poem, it's just that you need to sit down with it and manipulate it by introducing some poetic devices into it. If you're interesting in writing poetry, ask some questions, look around a bit,take a class, it's not so difficult. It's the difference between walking and dancing. It just takes some guidance and lots & lots of practice. Good luck.
You were meant to post the replies to me...and I learn from them...their is a connection and you could also learn something here...and if you can't admit that...that is ego holding you back with your understanding because you don't appear to like me and you will be so sure in yourself "he cant possibly have anything that I donât know, I am better than him" and if that is so then it is quite pathetic coming from a woman who claims to have been through all that stuff because it shows that you have ran away from your lessons. Either that or you lied to me about yourself.
Nobody is right, no body is wrong. Youâre the fish and Iâm the worm? You are already the fish in a way because it was you that originally bitten... and if you do want to play that game I will be happy to oblige. I didn't accuse you of being afraid I was aiming that at zodiac... the easiest way to have someone run right into this brainwashing trap is to accuse them of being afraid... I just wanted to give something that I found, that's all...and it is amazing... for the first time in my life I donât hate myself, for the first time in longer than I can be bothered to think back I am not suicidal and I never attempted it again since I found this. You are not your past; you are the one who walked through it. It is quite funny though that you gave me such a reaction... I never even tried to rattle you... I must have a natural talent for upsetting people lol. Lol this illusionary soapbox is what you put me on to try and understand what has been going on here...and if you look, it is you that stands on the soapbox, nothing second hand here I am my own creator. If words are cheap does that not also make your poetry cheap? Hmmm, you say I am a shit poet and thatâs all you need to know...but you don't really know that do you, you seen nothing of my poetry but for what I have posted under this name, in fact under another name of mine I got one or two good comments from you. As for being fooled into thinking you have some other identity...no I am not. I just see the possibility you are not who you say you are...and I donât really care either way. Genuine? Does it really matter whom you are honest with as long as you can be honest with yourself? Why not chat on yahoo messenger? You may be surprised, I am actually very nice underneath the insidious evil D.r Mindfuck act. i might even make an attempt in the next couple of days to post another poem, and i know you'll want to read it, and will probably slag it off too lol.
so zodiac, why the need to keep returning here to prove whatever your point is?
I'm not, you boob. I'm returning here to redeem myself in the eyes of comments-recent for my earlier over-earnest stupidity on this page (ie, starting this so-called conversation in the first place.)
You colossal boob! (black fog: "Look! I'm pressing your buttons again!" zodiac: "Shut the fuck up.")
For one thing, my life is so intensely happy it actually makes me wonder ALL THE TIME what's up with all these people talking about 'the path to happiness' and such bullshit. How can they be so incredibly wrongheaded as to not already have a life that's as happy as the one I have without even trying? So, no, I HAVE NO QUESTIONS. YOU HAVE NOTHING YOU CAN TEACH ME. If I changed anything about my life, it could only make it less happy than it currently is, you see? Even now, when you think I'm agonizing over your pinpoint-accurate reading of me, I am quietly, beatifically happy. Naturally, lacking anything which even roughly approximates an awareness of irony and humor, you are not going to believe me. Go take a flying leap into a wall. I am most certainly not really my poemranker self. And for another thing, "you can go away now zodiac, we have no further interest in you" and "So go on....tell them that you won...when you could have taken something for your mind from here, so in fact you have lost" are my jokes from May 29, only made much, much more dumb. (black fog: "That's because I'm a master of manipulation." zodiac: "If you were an utter retarded instead of such a 'master of manipulation,' would it make your retarded poemranker rambles in any wise different?" Everyone: "No.") If the Joe-joe model of 'discourse' (ie, repeating others' lines a few days later, adopting some fake fatherly condescension, changing the subject frequently, assuming without justification or proof that you've "won" already) is the best you have - well, you will, of course, still die of natural causes at a ripe old age with your wife and beautiful children at your side after having been as happy as anyone else (except me) most of that time, but you will also have been a blissfully ignorant retarded for nearly a century and let me tell you something: When on that great gettin'-up morning the Lord Jesus separates the Retardeds from the Non-Retardeds and invites the Non-Retardeds to come to him an nuzzle in his clean clove-smelling beard, WE WILL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!11!!1!1!!!1!!!!!! Oh God, I've soiled myself again...
zodiac, i only just noticed you said this...
"I'm not, you boob. I'm returning here to redeem myself in the eyes of comments-recent for my earlier over-earnest stupidity on this page (ie, starting this so-called conversation in the first place." lol so now you are getting it and admitting to whats happened here...and you have learnt something... dont be too quick to bite, let someone else bite just for the sake of ego pleasing first see what it is that is being bitten at...and now for you to learn is that nobody wins stuff like this...so good, keep laughing at the irony, but just let go of this, lol tell everyone that you won by all means... but stop biting at this because your just leading yourself further into a load of pointless crap...and it is often the way in a lot of arguments and discussions...once you made your point, no matter if anyone understands it or not there's little else you can do to change the opinions of others...and thats what i have learnt hear and i thank you for that. so, i got no hard feelings about any of this, it's been fun, and we learned something, how are you feeling about this discussion now? the poem may look like crap but it was the beginning of this. you have nothing to redeem because you have learnt something, same as i have... think this is ready to end now. but know this... if you bite at me after this message... it will continue, because that would show me that you haven't learned what i think you have. gods wife, you seeing any more to this now than when you entered? 167 view(s)
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