Simple, pleasing.

The first two lines were a hook for rhyme-loving girls like self. What are golden heels about? I do like it, even the gentle shortening of the line lengths is very effective but I can't help thinking if you played around with it more, it might flow - moments like reflection/perception don't seem to be exceptions but more highlights.

What do you think; do you want it to rhyme?
No vote yet because I don't believe it's finished.

Hm. Cliche'd subject? But shows signs of poetry! Cut "shattered glass".

Oddly I like this, to begin with, but if there are no words to speak, how can you even squeeze a rhyme out of a poem? Have you considered cutting it off after "or what is right"? The "heart's heavy song" coul be the title - 'tis a redeemable line but the best poetry is the best words (e.g. for a poem on this theme, few?) in the right order (to give a sense of dullness, emptiness.

.. Hopefully this poem is more than just a (successful) experiment with line indentation.

I really do like it - the first stanza was definitely captivating, for the confident entrance and then the creeping of doubts.

But call me ignorant.. It's not really.. Poetic. You're not hiding anything. And what you explain seems to go on a long time. I think there are lines here that are superfluous - they don't help so they drag.

Like "into the shadows". Sounds very The Rasmus. At least forget the linebreak that makes it independent.

Nyah.. I'm afraid this tastes a bit stale to me. "The God's"? Do you mean "the gods" or am I missing something? No vote - hoping it might be revised.

I LOVE IT!

Hm, cheesy in parts, no? My favourite section was this:
I speak of moments such as this
one, in which the rain sparkles
just right, catching the streetlights
red handed in mid-fondle of night
as it showed most originality, sense of humour.. I feel you could still edit this one more time.

Yeah. Not at all bad for a topical verse.

I didn't like the final stanza. But I DID like the first few.

What's a morningstar? Is it one of those little choppy throwable disc things with spikes?

I must confess, the first stanza made me want to puke but the fourth I really liked (and the second was ok too - I'm just lost on the morningstar). Weird, eh?

I like it and despite having a pick, can't find or accord with any faults pointed out thus far. It's a good poem, worthy of a good handful of reads, which is rare; it does have a Frostian quality to it, I'm sure. Observant narrative, conclusive moral. And the twas. :)

You have to retract something, I believe.. Would love to see a bit of punctuation in this. I sometimes write narrative poems out like prose to get the grammar (full stops, commas) right, then add the line breaks where they naturally fall. No vote as I don't think you're done with it.

It's a bit naked. Creation of or from sensation?

No complaints. Hit between eyes and loss of all critical function. Thus this poem gets love.

Funky.

I am sorry to be such a blatant hanger-on but doubleU's right. I was waiting for you to pick your head up and give a wry verbal retort. I'll bet you can do it and in my opinion it would give this poem the arsekick it deserves. No vote 'til it gets better.

Keep "he's capable to steer" - I like how it sounds - like the drunk leading the drunk.

"which means? that you’re late
sell your boat salty dog you are
fish bait" - - Perfect.

Is rockmage senile? Or just uninspiringly offensive?

Anyways:
I like this poem - thank God it's not another "women suck because they ignore me".. Yaowl. I was just wondering about the repetition of "hurt" and "hurts" - intentional? I don't like it but this could be unfounded dislike.