Re: Lord Byron Gave Mary Her Shelly by horus8	15-Sep-04/9:08 AM
You missed question marks (lines 4& 8). Correct grammar makes you look educated. I liked "under-wing", and that whole stanza.. But what does this mean; "But Mary made demons before a wife Her need was of faith, soon to be law"?
Re: Coldfront by klosterfobik	15-Sep-04/9:09 AM
I love it, and yet I hate the apostrophised written-accent "x-in'".
Re: Perversions by razorgrin	15-Sep-04/9:13 AM
Ok, so those are rather amusing.
Re: Drunk and Fucked Up by wilco	15-Sep-04/9:18 AM
Lyrically, call Ryan Adams. But poetically, I think it's lacking. Maybe I just subconsciously reject the use of the word "baby" in its slang context in a work of poesy. Hm.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Sep-04/9:22 AM
Intimate and simple. Will stick in my head for a while.
Re: To Leave a Trace by Dovina	17-Oct-04/10:53 AM
I like "honorably unread", I think that's a very strong line.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Oct-04/10:56 AM
"He spit" > "He spat"? "craving the.." etc > "craving scarce applause, you drape your true"? I dunno what the "mediocrity" line's dong - it's a bit out of place. Otherwise, a very articulately-worded piece on a bit of a cliched theme, I might say (in praise!).
Re: Youth by thepinkbunnyofdoom	17-Oct-04/10:58 AM
I don't think the repetition works, the speed of light line annoys me. And drop "token" for something else. That line could be the real hook but I feel the whole thing's not quick as catchy as you want it to be. As it could be.
Re: Coin Operated Binoculars by T. Jonathron Remp	17-Oct-04/10:59 AM
Coul you not make this a poem just by cutting the lines at readable places? I loved it. The "he/him/her" bit's a little confusing but I like that. I really like it all.
Re: Forbidden Desires by blackthoughtz1	21-Oct-04/5:33 AM
This is a Pimple.
Re: Dino Campana: Autumn Garden by Sasha	21-Oct-04/5:43 AM
Al giardino spettrale al lauro muto De le verdi ghirlande A la terra autunnale Un ultimo saluto! A l'aride pendici Aspre arrossate nell'estremo sole Confusa di rumori Rauchi grida la lontana vita: Grida al morente sole Che insanguina le aiole. S'intende una fanfara Che straziante sale: il fiume spare Ne le arene dorate: nel silenzio Stanno le bianche statue a capo i ponti Volte: e le cose già non sono più. E dal fondo silenzio come un coro Tenero e grandioso Sorge ed anela in alto al mio balcone: E in aroma d'alloro, In aroma d'alloro acre languente, Tra le statue immortali nel tramonto Ella m'appar, presente.
Re: In the berth by INTRANSIT	22-Oct-04/4:51 PM
I love it.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Nov-04/9:43 AM
It truly does make one wonder. So much poemranker poetry about poo. Little about wee. There's something I haven't covered yet.
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	16-Nov-04/9:51 AM
I like the line breaks, they build tension, make the words seem like worth living too. Just thinking though, is "nighttime sun" just there to rhyme with "captive one"?, because I don't know if it belongs, otherwise.
Re: Feminist? by RGSsparky	16-Nov-04/2:16 PM
Undelightful and horrible grammar.
Re: madness by mashasha	16-Nov-04/2:17 PM
"u" is not a word.
Re: Charms by auscot	21-Dec-04/9:01 AM
Love it. Sounds all drunken and clumsy. Might want to put line 5 in speech marks.
Re: The Perception's Play by Bhaskaryya	21-Dec-04/9:06 AM
You realise that first of all, you're using couplets and then alternate rhyming lines? And you've put a lowercase 'i' when you mean 'I'. It's kind of nice, in a pastiche of nineteenth century poetry. Although the piece of rock bit was rather a blooper.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Dec-04/7:30 AM
Really like the repetition, definitely works. On a grammatical note, you'll need to put full stops at the end of stanzas ("skies." "its melodies."). And maybe "cobwebbed skies" would be better. I'm not sure if "cobweb skies" is really helpful to the poem, I mean, are the skies very claustrophobic to the poet? There's no sense of fear or trepidation or anything, it seems more sleepy and peaceful. Enjoyed reading it. :)
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Dec-04/7:42 AM
I reduxed A Wanderlust To The New. If you'd like to reread, it's here: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=114662