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To Leave a Trace (Free verse) by Dovina Figures carved in limestone,
Bits typed on discs.
History reads what it finds,
Remembers what it sees.
Now that even my bones are dust,
You read my name,
And see how strongly I loved,
How weakly I fought.
Unborn strangers find a need in me
For more than was,
Entranced by eternity,
Known in 2203.
What I had no speech for while living,
I can tell you, being dead.
History smiles on the beautifully doomed,
Honorably unread,
Confident of discovery.
Up the ladder:
He
Down the ladder:
submission to decay
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.857143
Posted: October 17, 2004 8:38 AM PDT; Last modified: October 17, 2004 8:38 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.4994626 Overall Rank: 2739 Comments:
I like "honorably unread", I think that's a very strong line.
Itâs a pipe dream, kinda like heaven. But who knows, maybe theyâll find the good stuff and not the crap. Iâd have used a nicer word, but Horus says Iâm bland. He can be so sweet sometimes.
God! I hate hopeful poems. Still, this one is OK.
Sorry to have poured hope into your day. Itâs the danger of writing though, the difficulty of completely removing every trace on the day before we die, overlooking something, or getting the timing wrong. God, what will they really say!?
They will say that Shardik, Zodiac and Robbins were well- schooled assholes hiding behind the electron stream known as the internet. Of course, it's easy to be brave when you hide behind pseudonyms and long distances. Give me the readings in Hollywood and Redondo, Venice, Santa Monica where Trannies, Dykes, Blacks, Whites (And the occasional straight poet) will get booed off stage because they suck. There is honesty. Honesty is transitory. By the next poet everyone will have forgotten the last poet's words. Reading in real time not hiding behind clever bullshit retorts. Any man out there care to meet me and have it out with an open reading or with fists and knives (no guns, it makes for short discussion)? Of course not! Coward's on the internet use a Rogetâs to fight for them. I'm glad that Zodiac is hiding in the Middle East. Maybe he'll eventually marry a towel head and direct his bullshit into a marriage where it belongs. Losers outsource themselves because the can't make it in the States. Those who can't, teach or go to the middle east. Thanks for the chance to say hi to everyone on your poem, Dovina.
No gentleman would fight a tramp so just put away your fists and go back to your favella. It is late and no one wants their shoes shining in the dark.
Thanks for proving my point, coward.
I am always let down when someone who I will never meet insults me. I just wish they would show their face. But they know nothing of the mean streets of hollywood. I am a humble shoe shiner making it in the states, not in some towel haired nation. Those educated and intelligent people, they are the real dims. Retard.
Retard is good. Even retards understand that one. Listen up, hywel, in case you don't understand this site. Most people on this site who insult others with zeros and monologues on how dim their poems are use many pseudonyms. For all I know, you are zodiac using a friendâs computer and a different handle. So, as for never meeting you, how would I know? You would know me because I am Dan garcia-Black. If hywel is your real name then you are right. I've never met you. However, you responded to a comment that named specific people on this site. It leads my retarded brain to think you are hiding behind that hywel persona. If I'm wrong, it's because this site makes one mistrust words. Since words are the building material of our poems, the people I named in my comment are doing a disservice to the entire point of this type of site.
The following, in no particular order are the unsupportable assumptions contained in the famous "hiding behind a computer screen" insult:
1) I don't talk like this to people all the time; 2) I'm not telling you the truth about the crappiness of your poems/personality/ideas about everything; 3) The people you do deal with face-to-face DO tell you the truth about the greatness/originality of your poems, opinions, etc; 4) The internet's worse for getting honest opinions for that reason; 5) I give a fuck; 6) If my username was my real name, I would somehow be more accountable for my comments; 7) If I were any kind of man, I'd meet you and we'd fight it out; 8) You're bigger than fighting with people; 9) You could kick my ass; 10) I'm secretly furtive and ashamed about the fact that I spend my time trashing people on the internet, so that kind of dis actually works.
You win! You have more interest in idle chitchat than any other human being on this planet (if you are human and not just computer generated). I think I'll go to work and talk to some real people now.
You just think that because you type much more slowly than I do.
You too. Way to make sense. The way you went from "I'm always let down when someone who I will never meet insults me" to "not in some towel haired nation" was like fisting an elderly pedestrian from a moving Hyundai.
I thought it was rather clever. To cast myself as the character I had accused DGB as being (hispanic shoe shiner) and then use his voice to bring together the sentences 'people who insult those they will never meet are cowards' and 'towel haired nation' both of which he used in a previous posting. I think I made my point about his duplicity.
Anybody knows they're not towels. They're tableclothes.
Where'd you get any of these ideas? I'm outsourcing myself because someday I'll be able to write a great tell-all book about why Islams are really so impossibly dull and stupid, made timely and bestselling by whatever current or continuing so-called crisis there happens to be at the time.
PS-Colossal dimtards put unnecessary apostrophes on plurals. You fail. And hey, congratulations on saying so many interesting and original things! Your Hollywood readings bit was singular! PPS-Everybody here except for you already knows who I am. I'm John Updike. You fail times two.
Of course, all that you say is obvious. How could I have missed all the clues? Maybe it's because you are all hiding behind the computer screen. I guess I should be comforted that you aren't teaching in the states and screwing up another generation of young, impressionable minds. I hope you're teaching over there. Maybe you can win the Islam/Western Pragmatism war from the inside by destroying the Middle Eastern childrenâs minds instead. Thanks for the grammar lesson, Johnny.
Don't be so self-righteous. Everyone knows your true identity. It's Dan Garcia-Black, with a capital G. Why you still bother with this charade, hiding yourself behind an undercapitalised pseudonym is beyond me, though maybe it has something to do with being unable to "hack" even a reasonable conversation, to say nothing of poetry-writing or hiding your somewhat ill-informed and offensive notions on almost any subject.
No, wait. I suppose the appropriate thing to say here is: No, wait. I'm not hiding! To prove it I'll meet you on Santa Monica Pier at high noon - I'll be the one smoking two cigars. I'm registered at the Long Beach Motel Six under the pseudonym "Up Johndike". Get over yourself. Of course we're all hacks here. Why the hell would anyone else hang out in this dump? The only difference between us is that I have two articles - one on Emily Dickinson fascicles and one on the rhythmickal and syntacktickal structures in oral/street/performance poetry - currently being vetted by respectable lit journals, which of course doesn't mean anything except that I happen to be good at at least one of my jobs, while you're not even a very good shoeshine. Also, you think I looked all these words up in a thesaurus and care whether or not people look things up in thesauri, though I didn't and don't. And I'm not gay but you are. The "Islam/Western Pragmatism war" is just great, by the way. PS-I teach Adult Islam Retards, not children. PPS-Whatever.
And you ought to have been here long enough to know I'm married. To a woman.
They all say that.
Getting back to the poem...I will have to agree that this is a little bland. But it's not an insult, just criticism, so don't take it the worng way.
I am hideously insulted that anyone should think they have to ask me not to take something the worng way. I never take anything the wrong way! The purity of my continual rightness in these matters has been worngly interpreted as blandness.
damn, you are a handful.
Thank you, I try.
No, no. It's wrong, but it's bland too.
Wrong and bland
such a terrible curse. I suppose, in addition, I have told and not shown.
You have an impressive resume and vocabulary, Johnny. I suppose that I do appear self-righteous to hypocrites. Anyway, I'm bored by all this blah, blah, blah. Write an article about another lame poet's hair follicles that will be suitable for publication in some "highly respected lit mag." I'll just continue to post here with my opinion of your unimportance and lack of integrity intact.
Dan garcia-Black
Stop overfilling your comments with ridiculous groundless assumptions. And your poetry is still utterly artless.
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God the way your mind works... Is ah...
Bland.