Bach

Member since 2003 · Posted 10 Jul 2004 · 2 comments

As the storm clouds reached the shore the winds blew deep within the floors. Rumbles and shakes, rattles and hums. I ran to the door looking for love. I ran to the door and found noone. The clouds drew closer. As I watched they came upon my door with the sounds of Bach. The trees bent away from the clouds as they grew to a size profound. I saw, in the midst of all the haste A picture of her with a tender face. Bluest eyes I could see with serenity and grace. As I was taken away by the winds, I realized that I had left without a trace.

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7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

2 comments

[8] Shuushin 10-Jul-04/7:19 PM Reply

The rhymes aint too bad at all; unforced, and I was liking the sonnet-like structure - until the last line.

that has to go, really does.

[7] Dovina 10-Jul-04/7:23 PM Reply

Line 2 doesn't seem to jive with line 1, unless it's a gut feeling about Bach's music.

Line 5: no one.

Bach's music is quite mathematical in how it sounds, and doesn't usually call up a "tender face" or "serenity and grace."