Re: her treasure by amber1028	22-Dec-03/3:45 PM
It's difficult to feel any sympathy for the elderly when just last week an old man wandered into a playground full of children and chewed their cheeks off.
Re: You Give Me Love by Free2Rhyme15	22-Dec-03/3:53 PM
You can't legislate desire; it has to come from within. Having said that, your use of "glee" to rhyme with "see" and "love" to rhyme with "above" is quite possibly the most staggeringly important contribution to English literature since J.R.Hartley's discovery of the letter "p".
Re: Paint Remover by Samantha	22-Dec-03/4:01 PM
I think it's fascinating that people wear metaphorical masks to hide their less sophisticated character traits from society. On the outside, I'm a committed Christian and passionate racist. But on the inside, I'm a trenchant buffoon who likes running into cake shops and pulling down his trousers. Masks are important, aren't they?
Re: The comma turned coma by horus8	29-Dec-03/4:41 PM
Unexpectedly? Unexpectantly?
Re: Faith by Pervy Elf	30-Dec-03/6:56 PM
TO fair12 (comment indentation has malfunctioned) What's amazing is that you believe a magical super-being swooped down to planet Earth and took on humanoid form. You also believe that this pseudo-earthling was the SON of god AND was god at the same time, you also believe He had various special moves like the ability to walk on water, the ability to make small quantities of bread and fish become large quantities of bread and fish, and some other completely arbitrary and indiscriminate powers - like the ability to heal certain random cripples he happened to bump into (but not the ones He didn't bump into because they were naughty) and the ability to bring someone back from the dead even though that person would have been in Heaven or Hell at the time, and if they were in Hell then their eternal damnation wouldn't have been very eternal, and if they were in Heaven, why would they want to be brought back to life anyway? You also believe that despite the fact that this humanoid was supposedly omniclever, He still prayed to God (aka Himself), to beg for an alternative to crucifixion, even though anyone who was omniclever would already know the answer to such a prayer, and anyway, why pray to yourself? Your comment doesn't address the issues put forward in this poeme in anywhere near a satisfactory way. The way I see it, the poeme is trying to say that if there truly is a benevolent Jesu - as the Bible claims - then He probably wouldn't condone child molestation on an unreasonable scale. However, child molestation exists, and given that Jesu (if He existed) would have the power to stop it, why doesn't He stop it? And why does He manufacture child molesters in His secret laboratory in the first place? And don't say "free will" because it is perfectly possible to have a world without child molestation that still has free will. Do you molest children? Do you have free will? If God is willing to intervene in order to hold this particular victim's "faithless ass up, not allowing evil to take that final step of control", then why isn't He willing to go all the way and magically generate a force field around the child's buttocks that wards off molestation completely? Hmm? What is also amazing is that there is a staggeringly simple answer to all these problems: The Bible is a complete load of balls. Thanks.
Re: Whose God? by elizabethann	3-Jan-04/4:31 AM
Like you, I also worship the insenstive, impure God of monstrously daft poetry.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jan-04/8:57 AM
I think it's ace that God flew down from Jesu Park in the form of His only son so that He could suffer on the cross, then die, then come back to life again, then turn back into the non-humanoid God, then fly back up to Jesu Park, all so that He wouldn't have to send us to Hell. But rather than go through all that, why didn't he just not send us to hell? Why arse around on a cross? To pay the price for our sins? A price that He Himself has inflicted? Is that justice? What is just about Jesu taking the flack for our naughtiness? It makes no sense! nooooooooooooo!
Re: BreakBeat TimeTravel by nentwined	7-Jan-04/4:03 AM
When I read the title, I actually thought it might be about beaks. Needless to say I was jolly excited; but then it turned out that you just couldn't spell "break", and instead I had to read a poeme that contained the word "moment" far too many times. Thanks.
Re: Diseased by hatedestruction	8-Jan-04/10:51 AM
You colossal fucking retard. Do you think poetry is some kind of competition to see who can write the most cryptic-sounding nonsense? Poetry is not supposed to sound like Nirvana lyrics. You clearly think that the poeme has a beautiful, revolutionary message deep inside it, and that it is made all the more beautiful because you really have to work and study your unconventional use of language to understand what you meant. You plainly don't even know what the lines in this piece are supposed to mean, just a vague sense that they're beautiful and express the dark abyss of beautiful hatred that is your life. You assjacket. You are between the ages of 13 and 17. You listen to "alternative rock" or "nu metal". You once applied 3 joules to your arm with a safety razor and then told people "sometimes I cut myself" and showed them the "scar". You have a selection of candles and jossticks in your room. They have scents like "waking dreams" and "opium utopia". You once smelled some cannabis smoke, but you never smoked any yourself, or you would be writing about your tedious drug adventures instead. You think you are special and misunderstood, and that one day you'll find someone who understands the dark beauty of the soul like you do. You're a talentless nobody with a corncob for a face. MEDIOCRITY CODE: 04583803 http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.jsp?action=decode&thecode=04583803
Re: Thommmn Thrrremmn by fatmansinging	8-Jan-04/11:14 AM
Champion
Re: Harry the Moon by Mimi & Vincent	8-Jan-04/11:20 AM
MEDIOCRITY CHECKLISTE [X] AABB rhyming scheme [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [X] Clerical errors [_] Ellipses used overabundantly [_] Lower case only [_] Internet shorthand / emoticons [X] Repetition of a word or phrase ad nauseam [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, etc) [_] Devoid of other literary devices (metaphor, synaesthesia, etc) [_] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [_] About drugs [_] About romantic love [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] About writing [X] Cliched imagery (tears falling like rain, angel in heaven) [X] Cliched rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [X] Sounds like dialogue in a fantasy novel [_] Melodramatic [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Concerns the author's social pastimes [_] Leaving rant [_] Vicarious wish fulfilment [_] Pointedly unanswered questions [X] Smugly-named protagonist [_] Sanctimonious [_] Untitled [_] Gushingly religious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Rage against the machine [_] Self-obsessed -7-
Re: My Castle by Cougarchic	9-Jan-04/9:23 PM
Terrible, angsty bullcrap. No attempt to actually write poetry, just a series of melodramatic sentences and linebreaks where full stops should go. You probably dream of horsies at night. BUT SCARY HORSIES WITH BLACK WINGS OF HATRED, RIGHT?
Re: The Blues by fevriere	12-Jan-04/3:45 AM
What the fuck is a quivering truth? Truth doesn't quiver.
Re: I read your diary by Jeremi B. Handrinos	12-Jan-04/4:27 AM
This truly ranks among the world's best disability haiku.
Re: The Ballad of Robert Kilroy-Silk by Steaming Dung Heap	12-Jan-04/12:39 PM
You shut up about Kilroy.
Re: Just A Dream by Blindpoetry	12-Jan-04/2:48 PM
Then why is there spunk all over the bedclothes?
Re: Victory smokes & black tiger ambrosia by Don-Quixote	13-Jan-04/7:27 AM
You've broken your own record for concentrated self-indulgent guff. "Dirt road of loathing" sounds like the title of a Tool song. As does every single other line. Furthermore: 1. Vinegar isn't bitter. 2. "Fangs kiss bloody flesh" could only be made worse by hiring a tramp to hump the reader's leg while they read it. 3. The reason nobody says "fervid" outside of adolescent poetry and the 18th century is because it's a ridiculous word with no merit. 4. The whole thing is totally incoherent. It's just one random, self-congratulatory image after another. There's nothing to interest a reader. 5. Nobody except furries and hobos "growl in 'victory'. 6. Anybody who claims to be "groovin to the blue-collar blues" isn't. 7. You're a grotesquely ugly freak. Thanks. 10!!!!!!!
Re: Stand by me by Cougarchic	16-Jan-04/10:08 AM
This piece sounds very forced. As a poete, when you end up with lines like "My state of mind is a real disgust" or "Till I can heal my burn" you really ought to be asking yourself "Have I been praying enough?". Well? Have you? Because if you haven't, how can you possibly hope to come up with good, rhyming lines through the love of Christ without compromising on the sheer absurdity quotient? A good effort, though! -7-
Re: Miss Understanding by OneFingerAnswer	16-Jan-04/10:23 AM
I think it is one of the great tragedies of society that on the playground the word "gay" is synonymous with "filthy urchin". Can't children find something better to do during playtime than tearing madly about the place calling each other "gay"? It's extremely damaging because some of those children will actually be homos and, before you know it, they'll be taken in by all the hype and might start to believe that there is something "filthy" and "urchin-like" about being a "raving bender". Which there isn't. Thanks and God Bless.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Jan-04/5:30 AM
Once a proud supporter of General Pinochet and his regime, my respect for the Chilean dictator has sadly dwindled in recent years following his trip to Britain, throughout which he repeatedly menaced the Archbishop of Canterbury with a large double-penis and threatened to fart on his balls.