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Victory smokes & black tiger ambrosia (Free verse) by Don-Quixote The rumors are true;
our rogue torch kissed the sky
'n whispered adieu
with its scarlet flame sigh.
Tuesdays spent with sibyl
foretold that even tigers will purr;
a killers sly smile appears subtle
eclipsing the wicked saboteur.
A rejected opaline rose choked
wilting on a citrus veranda;
I watched it die and smoked
as petals veiled the sycamore floor.
We've been rollin down groove street
smokin on victory 'n o.d.ing
on fresh injections of complacency
and bitter vinegar defeat.
Sunday suns blaze humid
on this dirt road of loathing
that I travel upon, intrepid-
murderous red lips cursing;
drinking black ambrosia
groovin to the blue-collar blues
'n rollin sublime nimbus spliffs.
Night tigers softly purr
as we growl in victory;
the wicked saboteurs
grinning in sweet revery
of our preys vinegar defeat.
Fangs kiss bloody flesh
'n whisper sweet adieu
with my fervid devil sigh;
the last kiss before you die.
Up the ladder:
Flat
Down the ladder:
Relief (Ventilation Shaft rewrite)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Posted: January 12, 2004 6:45 PM PST; Last modified: January 12, 2004 6:45 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.1986713 Overall Rank: 4607 Comments:
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Furthermore:
1. Vinegar isn't bitter.
2. "Fangs kiss bloody flesh" could only be made worse by hiring a tramp to hump the reader's leg while they read it.
3. The reason nobody says "fervid" outside of adolescent poetry and the 18th century is because it's a ridiculous word with no merit.
4. The whole thing is totally incoherent. It's just one random, self-congratulatory image after another. There's nothing to interest a reader.
5. Nobody except furries and hobos "growl in 'victory'.
6. Anybody who claims to be "groovin to the blue-collar blues" isn't.
7. You're a grotesquely ugly freak. Thanks.
10!!!!!!!
2: *fart*
3: *fart*
4: Well, it doesn't interest you ofcourse, and incoherence is always the case when I haven't bothered to spell things out for you in detail (I figure some readers can use some of their imagination and impart their own meaning... etc etc but we've had this conversation before, so anyway..)
5: Cmon now, you might be using the title "everyone", but don't start thinking that you actually know what people do to celebrate victory.. and the hobos I know? burb sour beer and pass out rather than growl.
6: the connection between blue-collar blues and growling.. isn't a concept thats too hard to grasp. (denial? etc etc, really DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN? No. And I won't.)
7: Your welcome, whatever helps that frustration of yours.
And HOLY JESU!?!
YOU LOVE IT!!!
Thanks for the ten.
Toodles.
i) Tool have only the one song, so far as I know
1) If you put hemlock in vinegar, it is very bitter indeed. Hemlock is what they used to kill Socrates (possibly mixed with opium)
2) that was an interesting experience, but had no effect one way or the other on my reading of the poem
3) on the other hand, torpid still finds occasional use & can even be considered, though marginally, acceptable. Is this not unfair?
4) you stole point 4 from eratosphere, where I believe they have it set up as an auto-responder to all posts originating from ip's that have at any time in the past been associated with pomeranker
5) and tigers, hence Hobbes, hence by association Calvin, representative of little boys, and what is the yearning to express oneself in amateur poetics other than the little boy (or girl) in all of us giving voice to his little boyness? (or little girlness, as the case may be)
6) jimi
7) the strength of the magnetic force field of the earth has declined by MORE THAN 10% in the past 20 years (requires schizophrenia)