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Victory smokes & black tiger ambrosia (Free verse) by Don-Quixote

The rumors are true; our rogue torch kissed the sky 'n whispered adieu with its scarlet flame sigh. Tuesdays spent with sibyl foretold that even tigers will purr; a killers sly smile appears subtle eclipsing the wicked saboteur. A rejected opaline rose choked wilting on a citrus veranda; I watched it die and smoked as petals veiled the sycamore floor. We've been rollin down groove street smokin on victory 'n o.d.ing on fresh injections of complacency and bitter vinegar defeat. Sunday suns blaze humid on this dirt road of loathing that I travel upon, intrepid- murderous red lips cursing; drinking black ambrosia groovin to the blue-collar blues 'n rollin sublime nimbus spliffs. Night tigers softly purr as we growl in victory; the wicked saboteurs grinning in sweet revery of our preys vinegar defeat. Fangs kiss bloody flesh 'n whisper sweet adieu with my fervid devil sigh; the last kiss before you die.

Everyone 13-Jan-04/7:27 AM
You've broken your own record for concentrated self-indulgent guff. "Dirt road of loathing" sounds like the title of a Tool song. As does every single other line.

Furthermore:

1. Vinegar isn't bitter.
2. "Fangs kiss bloody flesh" could only be made worse by hiring a tramp to hump the reader's leg while they read it.
3. The reason nobody says "fervid" outside of adolescent poetry and the 18th century is because it's a ridiculous word with no merit.
4. The whole thing is totally incoherent. It's just one random, self-congratulatory image after another. There's nothing to interest a reader.
5. Nobody except furries and hobos "growl in 'victory'.
6. Anybody who claims to be "groovin to the blue-collar blues" isn't.
7. You're a grotesquely ugly freak. Thanks.

10!!!!!!!




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