Everyone13 Jan 2004

You've broken your own record for concentrated self-indulgent guff. "Dirt road of loathing" sounds like the title of a Tool song. As does every single other line.

Furthermore:

1. Vinegar isn't bitter.
2. "Fangs kiss bloody flesh" could only be made worse by hiring a tramp to hump the reader's leg while they read it.
3. The reason nobody says "fervid" outside of adolescent poetry and the 18th century is because it's a ridiculous word with no merit.
4. The whole thing is totally incoherent. It's just one random, self-congratulatory image after another. There's nothing to interest a reader.
5. Nobody except furries and hobos "growl in 'victory'.
6. Anybody who claims to be "groovin to the blue-collar blues" isn't.
7. You're a grotesquely ugly freak. Thanks.

10!!!!!!!