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My circlet of reveries (Other) by liya
Midst the dusty pile in cobweb sheath Was lying a treasured wreath Rays from the attic window kindled sporadic shimmer Reminiscent of its once glory and glimmer Circlet embellished in splendid pearls and amethyst Lovely would have been the hand that wrought it Dusting it with my handkerchief I wondered Who’s head would have this once adorned? Did this hold a story or allegory…? Or did it conceal a tale of glory… Of a love sought, fought or lost Or of power, clout or larceny in spite Or did it simply hold the story of a bride Who walked down the aisle in pride? Whatever the tale behind this diadem Wrought in love was each one of its gem Adorning it took me to a fantasy land of sheen and glimmer Till I watched my reflection in the attic mirror Alas I realized I can’t coddle in these pleasures For am just a maid dusting my master’s antique treasures

Up the ladder: Sissy Faggot
Down the ladder: Recherche Collision

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Weighted score: 5.1986713
Overall Rank: 4589
Posted: November 28, 2007 3:28 AM PST; Last modified: November 28, 2007 3:28 AM PST
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Comments:
[7] Dark Angle @ 70.181.103.149 | 3-Dec-07/11:56 AM | Reply
No this one is good. And I hope I don't dissuade your writing with my (harsh?) comments, I'm no professional poem ranker or anything, I'm just here to have some fun. But with this one, while the imagery is good and it tells a story vividly the rhymes/words seem kind of forced and the style seems kind of dated. You should read a lot of new stuff, maybe you'll see. Of course, I'm not really one to talk about reading others poetry, I barely have time to read my own.
[6] Jessina @ 61.1.236.77 | 9-Dec-07/9:26 PM | Reply
Dear Lees,

A wonderful piece of sublime feelings with good rhyming.

A good attempt .Keep romancing with your pen.
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