Stand by me

Member since 2004 · Posted 13 Jan 2004 · 3 comments

Please stand by me For I need someone to trust Why can't they see? My state of mind is a real disgust Please let me be For I am a mess I'm a site to be seen I don't want to press I want to be able to trust I need you to listen Cause I'm just about to bust Please stand by me For I really want to learn You may need to wait Till I can heal my burn I hate this helpless state I feel I may go crazy How can I make you see that the trouble is inside of me? That is why we always fight For I think you shouldn't know my plight For if I tell you all thatâs dear It's all the consequences that I fear

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mean 6.20 weighted 5.14 rank 5426 views 252 View voting details →

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3 comments

[6] richa 14-Jan-04/10:03 AM Reply

A little too much silliness really. 'My state of mind is a real disgust'???!. I don't care if it does rhyme.

[7] Everyone 16-Jan-04/10:08 AM Reply

This piece sounds very forced. As a poete, when you end up with lines like "My state of mind is a real disgust" or "Till I can heal my burn" you really ought to be asking yourself "Have I been praying enough?".

Well?

Have you?

Because if you haven't, how can you possibly hope to come up with good, rhyming lines through the love of Christ without compromising on the sheer absurdity quotient? A good effort, though! -7-

[n/a] Joi 26-Aug-07/11:06 PM Reply

I liked the ending verse. To plain need more of a messeage.