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Stand by me (Free verse) by Cougarchic

Please stand by me For I need someone to trust Why can't they see? My state of mind is a real disgust Please let me be For I am a mess I'm a site to be seen I don't want to press I want to be able to trust I need you to listen Cause I'm just about to bust Please stand by me For I really want to learn You may need to wait Till I can heal my burn I hate this helpless state I feel I may go crazy How can I make you see that the trouble is inside of me? That is why we always fight For I think you shouldn't know my plight For if I tell you all that’s dear It's all the consequences that I fear

Everyone 16-Jan-04/10:08 AM
This piece sounds very forced. As a poete, when you end up with lines like "My state of mind is a real disgust" or "Till I can heal my burn" you really ought to be asking yourself "Have I been praying enough?".

Well?

Have you?

Because if you haven't, how can you possibly hope to come up with good, rhyming lines through the love of Christ without compromising on the sheer absurdity quotient? A good effort, though! -7-




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